Another Jane Thread (Love Is A Perspective?) (1 Viewer)

[Lolita Twist]

Ok. So, if we work under the theory that, let's say, Love Is A Perspective... or rather, one doesn't love a person, but rather, one loves one's own perception of said person. Why did Buk love Jane so much, why did she haunt him so? Why was he drawn to her, and doesn't it seem like he's almost obsessed? It all depends on the way you read into his stuff I guess (the poetry and short stories), but it seems to me she is a re-occuring character in his poems (evidently the ones with her name in the title, not to mention the one in German: Jane Icin) and short stories. I still to this day think The Most Beautiful Woman In Town is a scrambled version of events about his relationship with Jane. So, from either a psychological point of view or not - why Buk and Jane? Maybe - what events in his life triggered him to be so attached and attracted to this particular woman, or was she just there at the right place and time? Discussion time.

 

[Bukfan]

Buk did say Jane was the first woman who showed any interest in him. I think that's got something to do with it. It was his first real relationship so naturally it meant a lot to him. They both liked to drink and had the same dismal view of people, so that played a part too, I think.

 

[Lolita Twist]

I think when two people are in a relationship, their views of people can bond them very closely. That's a huge part of why Mr. G and I get along greatly: we both dislike people, generally. Among other things, of course. But I think that yes, of course, one's first real relationship means a lot to you (or it can go two ways - they can leave you and brake your heart and you're damaged there on in... but evidently, she died, so she couldn't leave him). Jane never left him.

 

[Gerard K H Love]

Jane left him every time someone else was there to buy her a drink. Provided he was not right there.

 

[Lolita Twist]

So maybe that's why he was so attached to her, even after her death. He was with her (am I wrong maybe?) in the time before she died, then she died and therefore couldn't leave him anymore and was with him maybe indefinitely. We all know he wasn't a religious person, but maybe there's a psychological link there.

 

[Bukfan]

He actually left her quite a while before she died but kept in contact with her, so they weren't a couple anymore when she died.

 

[scribbler]

The trouble with all the speical relationships worth enduring is that we, at once, should and should-not be in them. Cursed, plagued, blessed and delighted - these tests of will define us forever. Aloneness is to be celebrated but no one really wants to be THAT hero...no matter how much they protest.
Even Buk did not make it to the next level.
Its one (illuminating?) thing to know what it takes, and quite another to do it. So he wrote and wrote...and wrote.
No befuddlement as I see it.

 

[Lolita Twist]

He actually left her quite a while before she died but kept in contact with her, so they weren't a couple anymore when she died.

Then I still don't get it then. Why this woman? Exclude the first relationship fact and what else is there?

 

[roni]

I seem to remember, it was even more than she was the first woman "who showed any interest", but that he stated several times, she was the FIRST HUMAN BEING THAT LOVED HIM at all.

This obviously includes the lack of paternal love as a child. Plus his acne-and-otherwise-alienation through puberty, when the other boys had their first girl-experiences, dates, etc. He also stated several times, he didn't even have sex before age 23.

So, when the first person who really shows you love and care comes that late in your life - she definitely plays one of the most important parts in your life, forever.

Add the fact that they had their relationship for over 10 years (with pauses in between of course, ups and downs, etc) - that's a long period and forms you.

Then the way she died: being a wreck, poor, alcoholism, lonely, etc. He sure saw something of himself in her. (He himself had nearly died in the charity ward due to this lifestyle 7 years before.)


There come a lot of things together, they sum up (add up?).

Plus take the fact that he was always tending to focus on his women, trying to have them for himself, like when he didn't like Linda K. to dance with others or when he fights with Linda L. over her nights out.

Here was a woman, Jane, that he could 'own' forever in a way.

And a 'poetic creature' that he could glorify, could make a heroine in his dreams. And especially to 'celebrate' the bitterness of his loss. (Buk had a 'masochistic' turn concerning living out his depressions.)



But I really think, the essence is in the poem 'remains':

this will never leave me:
that I had love
and love died;

 

[Lolita Twist]

I like that analysis quite a bit. That's kind of what I was looking for, yes. In my mind, that could be accepted if not admired in a way.

 

[Bukfan]

Well said, Roni! A very good analysis. You explained it very well...