Oh crap, I shouldn't have commented. Now the entry is gone. Oh well.
Just imagine a couple dozen "quotes" like "Change is good, but bills are better," you know, stuff that Bukowski would have never said or written, and you'll get the idea.
If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I would be unstoppable.
Change is good, but dollars are better. (also attributed to Barack Obama ;p)
Do not pay taxes; it just encourages them.
Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.
Reality is a figment of your imagination.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
The world is so terrible that one can only make fun of it.
Gravity doesn't exist: The earth sucks.
Abstinence is a good thing when practiced in moderation.
Man's greatest fear is to have died without living.
Live simply so others may simply live.
Without order nothing can exist - without chaos nothing can evolve.
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy anything.
Pick your enemies carefully; they're harder to get rid of than friends.
Everything is unimportant in some way.
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
Professionals built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
Health is is merely the slowest possible rate at which to die.
I am objective; I object to everything.
If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
A friend is someone who knows all about you but still likes you.
You can not achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.
Who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye. Then it's just a game. Find the eye.
Jesus paid for our sins - now let's get our money's worth.
Life is a terminal disease.
Growing is mandatory. Growing up? Definitely optional.
Failure is not an option, it comes bundled with the software.
I can handle pain until it hurts.
I don't mind Jesus; it's his fan club.
It's okay to want peace, but you have to do more than slap a bumper sticker on a Volvo.
Don't quote me, think for yourself.
Chaos, panic, pandemonium - my work is done here.