F. A. Nettelbeck: unloved and unphased (1 Viewer)

As I just found out, from a girl at work eating them in the break room, they also have them in a microwaveable form? She said they're good. I don't know if I believe that, she didn't share. But for those not within any reasonable vicinity, I guess you could try heating some up...

It's just not the same.

Would you eat frozen Rocky Mountain Oysters or fine steak? No, of course you wouldn't. We are not savages.
Now where the heck would savages get hold of frozen food?
Unless they were eskimo savages, or Norwegian savages, or Minnesotan savages...

Real savages eat raw food, and I'm not talking about sushi.
Steak tartare?

Our Governor-general (Queen's representative to Canada) got in international hot water for going north and having raw seal heart when it was offered to her.

So my tribe of savages is still connected to the inbred, backstabbing aristocracy of far too many centuries and this other tribe of savages can survive, and have survived, thousands of years in a place where white people go to freeze and die.

I tend to like my meat well-done but if you got to eat to live, well then eat it raw. And get picky back in the south when the line up for a greasey burger is three deep.
Well done only for me. Waiters cringe when I order an expensive steak and insist on well done. Gray inside. No pink. Pink hamburger makes me want to gag.
Steak tartare?

My wife had that as an appetizer at our wedding dinner (just her and myself) in Vegas a couple of years ago. It's brought to the table on a very nice plate; the finest ground beef you can find, with a raw egg cracked in the middle of it. Served tableside and mixed by a pretentious man who'd rather be boinking his sister.

I managed to scarf a taste before she put that away like a dirty napkin. Quite nice really, at $18.99 a shot. :rolleyes:

I had the escargots en croute with butter and garlic. EVEN PURPLE STICKPIN HAS AN ASSHOLE! See - maybe I am him.

But I can't eat much rare meat anymore. It goes through me like a spoonful of castor oil and the bathroom actually smells like a rare but now rancid steak within 30 minutes. So I go medium-rare nowadays.

To those who prefer well done, just stay at home and chew on an old shoe. ;)
Many,many (many) years ago, in Detroit, tripping my balls off on a small blue tab of LSD. a friend of mine bought 20 (5 cents a piece) white castle burgers and brought them into the car. the grease was actually soaking through the little box's that they were in. I remember hanging out the window and puking from the rancid smell of them. not a fun experience.
They aren't greasy at all. The onions and buns are steamed...they are more watery than greasy.

But who am I to doubt the memory of someone tripping their balls off. ;)

You can't cook any kind of meat without fat congealing somewhere.
They are an acquired taste, there's no doubt about that. Cooking shrimp smells like boiling a kettle of week-old piss to me, so I know what you're saying.
I've only had frozen White Castle burgers (thawed, you knuckle-heads), and even though they weren't the genuine article, they sure tasted good to me. Food meant to be consumed whilst wasted. Not that that's a bad thing.

I love me some high-end food, and some low-end food. Shit in the middle isn't so compelling.

And mjp: you need to marinate your shrimp in citrus (any kind), and then dry them profusely, then sear the fuck out of them in a high flash-point oil. 2-3 minutes total for both sides. A quick dredge in flour will also help.

The piss-smell is the slow evolution of the oils dissolving in the water surrounding the shrimp and then escaping into your domicile. Dry those fuckers better, dredge them, and sear the piss outta them.
spoken like a true bio chemist Purple.

If you eat rare meat use plenty of spices to chemically cook it, just like the wasabi with your sushi.
And so, back to the original topic of this thread, F.A. Nettlebeck. I just read some of the bio information from his website and thought I'd share a couple of highlights.

Did you know he broke into storage sheds and took items to sell for beer money as a teenager ? Why, yes he did.

Did you know that as an adult he continued that tradition by raiding Goodwill boxes of donated clothing/items for the truly needy (not "bohemian artist-wannabes-too-lazy-to-support-themselves). Right again! Of course, I shouldn't be too hard on him. He only did this when his parents and family were apparently unable/unwilling to cover for their 20-something budding young genius.

But here's something else. Throughout the writings of F.A.N.(including a posting or two here), you will read many references to guns and violence - some of a military nature. Given that he is of the Vietnam-era generation, you might assume that his dark visions and haunted musings are a direct result of that conflict. Here's where you'd be wrong. He avoided the draft by faking mental illness instead of going for CO status or moving to Canada. But remember - TODAY he wants to casually maintain that illusion of "Crazy Genius PTSD GUY.

Indulge him, won't you ?

Not me. I think he's a fraud of an artist and a fraud of a human being.
Every time I see "F. A." I can't help but think of another great American with those initials:


Hey hey hey! It's Faaaaaat Albert!

Nah nah nah, gonna have a good time!

...raiding Goodwill boxes of donated clothing/items for the truly needy...
If you read BUG SPRAY you will clearly see that he implicates Goodwill along with the pope and his mommy, for putting him under the incredible pressure that forced him to steal from Goodwill to get his pennies for cheap beer and skunk weed.

BUG SPRAY is a stinging indictment of an oppressive world that exists solely to crush the spirit of the truly creative - of the world's geniuses, like FA. Contemporary of Pol Pot, Charles Manson and Richard Nixon, a man ahead of his time, unappreciated, maligned, his final judgment will be by history! Not a gaggle of jealous mortals.
I would ask that your last coupon be stricken, but that would that would violate your 1st amendment rights, as outlined in the constitution...
Got anything from this century, Johnny Footnote?

And the other three aren't as good.


Someone pointed out this awesome picture to me, so I thought I would post it so everyone could see who they are corresponding with.

View attachment 13815

Yes, that is esteemed author (of three poems, apparently) and newly minted net.kook F.A. Nettlebeck. I cropped a rather bedraggled looking woman and unfortunate little girl from the picture, because when FrankenBeck releases the hostages* I don't think they'll want to remember their time with him.

Nice sticker on the back of his truck...

View attachment 13816

Is that two cartoon children with devil horns, one taking the other doggie style? Classy!

40 in my hand
40 at my feet
case of forties in the truck
sweet sweet sweet !

- F.A. Nettlebeck, 2009


*Please note: the "hostages" comment is merely a personal impression and an awkward attempt at "humor," and should not be implied or interpreted as a statement of fact or news report from a reliable source. Yet.
i’m the “unfortunate little girl”, any questions?
I had an interesting correspondence with him for about a year before he died. He wrote some good stuff. Bug Death is, in my opinion, deserving of the praise it received.

Users who are viewing this thread