F the Valet dudes, seriously! Shit! (1 Viewer)


more crickets than friends
Ahhhhhhh, I cannot even express my disgust and frustration right now! Last night, I went to the viper room in hollywood to see an old friends band. Oh, how the night started off so right. Great finds at Amoeba records and a nice little dinner at costa alegra in echo park! Then off to the viper room. Show was great, blah, blah, blah.

Come back to get my car from valet, whadda ya know, my glove compartment is open, my 160gb iPod and my friends brand new, well a month old $160.00 ray-bans in the case, gone! I will not go into the ensuing shoves, threats and finally police NON intervention....

But anyway, hey, when ya park, the ticket says they aren't responsible for anything, right? Well, apparently that says it all, even according to the cops that showed up!

Well, I guess there are bigger things in life, and I certainly would not spend 160 bucks on ray-bans! Ha, but shit, my IPOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyone ever go through something like this with valet? I mean, I even parked in a structure once in downtown L.A(santee alley) where, I didn't leave my keys with valet.... They proceeded to somehow get into my locked automatic transmission car, move the car 50 yards away and still DID not take a thing, while my ipod at the time, my girls sons playstation portable and other valuable things were in the car. They simply moved the car and were mad at me for not leaving the keys.

I know, I know, don't leave that shit in the car, but I have never seen such a blatant robbery by an employee go with a, well your fng fault dude. This was valet! I had no choice but to give him the keys, a lesson learned I guess!
I had no choice but to give him the keys...
Oh, you always have a choice, and my choice is always, 'no way.'

It's funny, because I was just thinking about this last night when we went to dinner in Old Town Pasadena. Which is one of the most congested spots in Los Angeles on a Saturday night. We parked two blocks away and walked, because I will never, ever hand my keys to some $8 an hour jerkoff in a red vest. I think you'd have to be out of your mind to do that. Carol doesn't always agree. Once we went to lunch at Norman Lear's house in Brentwood, and I wouldn't give my keys to his privately hired valets. Ha ha (hey, the Fit was brand new!). They waved us to a parking spot about 20 feet from the front door, so sometimes it pays to say no.

Even in Hollywood on a Saturday night, you can park, you just have to hoof it a few blocks to get to your destination. Or at least pay to park yourself in a ramp. That way your odds of theft are reduced. Look at it this way; the walk back to the car (if you can find it) gives you a chance to sober up a bit.

Just say 'no' to the red vest!

And if you find yourself in Old Town Pasadena, I highly recommend the Argentinian restaurant 1810. Get the skirt steak with peppercorn sauce.
We parked two blocks away and walked, because I will never, ever hand my keys to some $8 an hour jerkoff in a red vest.
Just say 'no' to the red vest

Yes, that is what I learned last night, even after more than a decade of handing my keys to those dicks!

and chronic, I originally was going to name this thread F you Johnny Depp and your valet guys at the viper room.

But since he sold his share years ago, I figured I ought not. Cause you know, had he still been running things, this certainly would not have happened, ha, sarcasm font intended. Ahhhhh, I still cannot seem to get over this, but I guess it will take a few days. And now I'll I see is that dude in the long sleeve button up white shirt, with the RED vest and mustache! and the stupid ass didn't realize if he had taken the 3 bags of records we had in the back seat, well he could have sold them along with the ipod and ray bans and at least doubled his profit. But I'm sure he was engaged in a quick mission with only getting what was in the glove compartment.
Just goes to show how un-hip I am. I had no idea Johnny had sold out. Bitch-slap him anyway... tell him it's payback for Alice in Wonderland.
Well, here is the quote of the day. I have been telling everyone who will listen about my valet experience, and my mother, referring to her sister, who has suffered from severe schizophrenia for the last 20 years says, "ayy, son, why do you think your aunt gets soooo wigged out when she sees those guys in red vests!"

I have no idea what that really means, but going forward, I will forever be wigged out by the guys in red vests!
When I saw the add on craigslist that required all valet applicants to please be physically fit (please include photo) I thought they were just being superficial jerk offs but now I know it's so that the valet's can leap from car to car in single bounds gathering up all the patrons precious belongings!
my friend was restrained by a MALE cop, and I by a female cop who tried to reason with me that it was my fault for leaving the stuff in the car! the two valet guys, were not physically fit in any way, and once the cops showed up, they couldn't speak english either. Both my friend and I speak spanish fluently, so whatever. I begged the female cop to at least search pockets, the valet booth, etc. My friend was much more unreasonable to deal with, so there's that. But that's a funny add from craigslist. Dammit, I want to go back, car fully equipped with hidden cameras and shit. Oh well.
I was a valet for 2 years and never stole a thing or heard of another valet being accused of stealing anything. Now I'm sure that some valets do steal (as criminals are known to do) but what makes you think that the valets did the deed? When I was a valet we almost always left the doors unlocked since we left the cars on private property. Seems reasonable to me that a determined thief could have made their way into the Viper Room's valet parking area and stolen your shit undetected.
Either way, the Viper Room should be helf accountable for your car and the property therein.
Ohio != Los Angeles

That's Geek for Ohio does not equal Los Angeles. Apples, oranges, all that.


In numerology, which is a proven science, the number 5 is indicative of a person who lacks discipline and order, is impatient, restless, easily distracted and can be very impulsive.

So you see how it all works out. Leaving the 160GB ipod and $160 glasses was asking for trouble. You have to pay attention to what you're doing or the world will eat you up.
Hhahahahhaha! Yup I asked my friend again bout his glasses and he said they were 160 bucks! The 160gb iPod I paid 399.00 for 5 years ago. I see they now are 225.00 on amazon, but shit it will take months to get all that music back on there!
Either way, the Viper Room should be helf accountable for your car and the property therein.

Yeah, not the way it happened. Both the cops and viper room doorman/manager simply pointed us to the back of the valet/parking ticket, where it tells you they aren't responsible for shit! I looked around the house for the ticket, I still had it last night, to snap a pic, but now I can't find it. Anyway, it's the same legal verbage you always find on the back of tickets where you pay to park.

Got ya, but of course, I was referring to getting all that music back on there(the new ipod) whenever I get one.
I meant that they should be held accountable in a "shit, sorry man" pat you on the back and make you feel better about leaving expensive things in a vulnerable place sort of way - I can't argue with the Man or the cops you had to deal with since I wasn't there.
Still a bullshit of a situation...
Ohio ! = Los Angeles. I agree. And how do you know that the valets stole your shit and that it wasn't someone who walked into the parking area?
Back in Simpleton, Ohio we used to have drunken wedding guests walk back into the parking area to "get the camera they left in a friend's car" all the time.

Also, 160/160=1.

In scientology, another proven science (it even has scien[STRIKE]ce[/STRIKE] in its name... it's the science of mind motherfuckers!), the number 1 represents L. Ron Hubbard (Ronbobo to his friends). Also, the theft took place in Hollywood which is not the local, not the national, not the global... but the universal headquarters of the church of scientology.

I smell a conspiracy.

Sorry nervas, but I think your iPod and your friend's sunglasses are being held hostage by Ronbobo himself.

Maybe you should bitch-slap Tom Cruise or John Travolta instead. If not for the theft, then just on general principle.
You guys have valets in LA? When I used to go to DC as a kid (9:30 Club, Black Cat), there was street parking nearby. There were also homeless men that had "territories". When you got out of your car, they would walk up to you and offer to "watch" your car for $10 (or $5, I can't remember). It was not so much as watch the car as it was that if you didn't pay them, then they would break your window and steal your stereo. I'm not sure how many people refused, but I cannot imagine that it was many. This was a bad neighborhood in DC.

Do they do that in LA? Ohio?
Do we have valets in LA? I think we have more valets than grocery baggers. In fact, there are probably valets at many of the grocery stores. People accept valet parking as a given here, and I could never understand that.

I used to drive old Honda Civics, the little ones form the 70s. Great reliable, cheap cars. Not worth breaking in to. You'd think. But when I lived in Venice someone smashed my driver's side window and stole the knobs from my $10 car radio. Just the knobs. And it wasn't even a stereo really, just a radio. Try to figure that out. I never could.

So yeah, they do that here. But usually they just take the whole car and it's in pieces somewhere in Mexico before you get out of bed in the morning.
this thread reminds me of the mr. show sketch about the car wash change thief action squad buster computer.
this thread reminds me of the mr. show sketch about the car wash change thief action squad buster computer.

Awesome. I'm glad somebody else brought it up, because I was going to have to.

I paid a valet once, at a casino, but that was about it. And even then, something tells me that my Pontiac Grand Am had nothing in it that he would have wanted, especially with lots of people rolling up in BMWs and Rolls Royces.

And if I may quote from a Twitter feed for a moment, "It's Los Angeles, son. It's the epicenter of the asshole earthquake. They'd fuck you twice if they had another dick." (from http://twitter.com/Shitmydadsays)
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They'll fuck you twice if they don't even have a dick.

That's why so many people want to come here.
Street parking in DC? Where?

In all the bad neighborhoods. Trust me, there is no street parking in the good neighborhoods, but there are large swaths of medium-bad to downright scary neighborhoods. We always found free street parking (except for the fee to the homeless man-guard), within a couple blocks of the club. The same with the 9:30 club. There is NO free parking in the nice neighborhoods at night (line in North West, DC), or in any of the tourist or trendy areas EVER (the Federal Areas, or a trendy place like DuPont Circle or Adams Morgan.

As to the really bad neighborhoods, there are some in the South East that no one that does not have to will go in after dark. My Mom had her car stolen from a nice neoghborhood where she lived in Northwest (near Chevy Chase, MD), she called a cab. the cab would not go there, even to take her to the police station.

well, honestly, I have used these valet dudes ever since I was driving. I just figured it was always more safe/conveinent then parking down the street. And yes, they even have valets at most of the malls here, though I've never used one at a mall, yet. But usually anytime I'm out to eat, or see a gig, the valet guys are awesome, including the viper room a million times. I certainly have parked in more than one shady spot in my life. I remember going to see the red hot chili peppers/pearl jam and nirvana at the forum in ingelwood, ca and not using valet, or the forum parking lot. As I walked back to my mothers honda accord, 3 or 4 cars around it had their windows smashed to pieces. As I stared in amazement, I thought to myself, well those dudes should not have left something valuable on the seat, oh how little I knew in 1991 or 1992, whatever year it was. See, maybe the problem I forgot to mention here, is that as the valet opened my door, I threw the iPod into the glove comparment, and so hey, it's my mistake right.... I mean I flashed the shit right in front of him, so he really had the right to take it!
This thread has been quite therapeutic...I had been haunted by my recurring dreams of having two dicks. Now I know I should have been a valet when I was younger.

Everything is starting to make sense. I still don't know why I took those knobs off of that stupid Civic.
There is NO free parking in the nice neighborhoods at night (line in North West, DC), or in any of the tourist or trendy areas EVER (the Federal Areas, or a trendy place like DuPont Circle or Adams Morgan.

I went to DC about 10 years ago and made the mistake of renting a car. Stayed at a hotel near George Washington University which (though no one told us this when we booked the room) was undergoing renovation and the parking area was closed for construction. I had to park at a meter 5 blocks away and be back by 6:00 am to put money in the meter. Parked one day at the Arlington Nat' Cemetery and they were locking up the parking lot just as we got back... we were the last ones out of the lot. Another day I found a really good parking space right by the Capitol building and did the tour, went and saw the senate in action ( Ted Kennedy was there talking about universal healthcare) and other touristy stuff. Anyway, when we got back to the car, I got in, looked up, and directly in front of me was a sign saying that it was reserved for Senators. We had been there almost 4 hours and I somehow escaped getting towed or ticketed.

I guess the moral of the story is never rent a car in DC (or New York for that matter) and Ted Kennedy was right all along.
Yes, there is no reason to rent a car in DC or NY. They have excellent public transportation. The Subway in DC is VERY, VERY clean and safe. They will arrest you for eating cookies. No shit. There is no graffiti, no trash, etc, etc. Stay away from the cabs, if possible. They do not use meters. They have a "zone" system that ensures that they will fuck the tourists out of money. It takes years to figure out the exact zones. If you do have to take a cab, tell them where you are going and ask them how much it will be. If you get in with your tourist outfit on and don't ask, you will pay twice what you should.

You must have parked in Joe Biden's parking space. He took the train from Delaware every day and never used his space.


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