Forum fauna: The Wandering Minstrel (1 Viewer)


Founding member
A staple on every forum, The Wandering Minstrel can be recognized by its utter lack of comprehension of the actual topic of the forum in addition to a general cluelessness regarding the rules of the most elementary social interaction. They are a very creative species, always looking for a connection into some branch of the creative arts.

In a Jackson Pollock forum: "Anyone know a good gallery that can sell my macaroni art? I would prefer something in New York or London."

In a Mark Twain forum: "Can anyone get me the contact information for someone with some pull at Random House? I have sent my manuscript to their submission address but it keeps getting returned. I think I need to address it to someone specifically."

In the comments of or IMDB: "Can someone please give me Roman Polanski's phone number? I have a screenplay that he needs to see. I don't have time to try to get it through a bunch of minumum wage script-reading jerks."​

When a forum regular wonders out loud why someone would ask for insider information in a forum barely related to the question, The Wandering Minstrel will be offended and immediately become combative. The authors and playwrights typically respond in a sort of pseudo-English that they half learned at the age of 7 or 8:

"well pardon me 4 asking, I thought this wus a message board, not the fucking gestapoe!"

"WHO the fuck are YOU gonna tell me where I can allowed to ask questions??!!!? I have a right to ask whatever I WNAT!!!!!"

"you suck ass old farts can't see the future climbing up your ass to fuck you in the ass because your to old to know whats good anymore!"​

The irony of professing to be an author while lacking the ability to spell or follow the most basic rules of grammar is lost on The Wandering Minstrel, as irony is a concept far too advanced for them to understand.

In many cases, as an example of their genius, this type can be observed posting long blocks of impenetrable text or pictures of their artistic creations on line (usually on a free blog service). Those unfortunate or foolhardy enough to attempt to read such texts or view such images inevitably come away from the experience in a dazed and woozy state, traumatized by what they have witnessed.

The Wandering Minstrel shares many traits with The Traveling Salesman, who posts in a forum only to hawk some sort of shoddy, idiotic product related to the forum subject or topic, but the two species are quite distinct and should not be confused with one another.
I'm just so glad that we don't get these sorts 'round here. Good work Baby Jeebus!
Bukowski got his fair share of Wandering Minstrels and so do we, it seems. It's a forum fauna species that'll never be extinct, unfortunately, but we can sure try our damnedest. :D
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I don't see you in this entry. You always seemed a decent guy to me.

I don;t believe that you have called us NAZIs nor have you claimed that we are trampling on your constitutional right to free speech, which is kinda a requirement wen identifying this species.

i posted a question about a movie the other day.

and i did what mjp wrote here. it was a moment of drunken rebellion.
and apparently Wandering Minstrel material :)

and i'm ignoring the "Decent guy" comment. I have a reputation to uphold :)
We need a serious discussion on the fauna species that joins and posts here to let us all know about a great unknown poet/singer that they just happen to either be related to or are paid to shill..

They could be called "The Snake Oil Salesman". The Latin for that is "Shillicus cocksuckerus" or "Raeganicus tosssaladicus"

I've never said this on But I'll say it now, I'm a screenwriter. Anyone know how I can hook up with M. Knight Shymalan's agent? I'm sure his agents secretary doesn't double as the office maid, so I know he'll make me millions after reading my screenplays!
If M. Knight does not start putting out better movies, he'll be the one cleaning offices. It seems that his movies get worse and worse. The first one was brilliant, the second one, really great and then they got much worse.

Yeah, I think M. Knight has run out of people willing to give him money to write and direct original screenplays. I'm interested to see what he does with his Avatar: The Last Airbender next year, or whenever it comes out. But that's why I was thinking his agent might have some time to read my 21 original screenplays! Ha.

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