growing old(er) with Bukowski (1 Viewer)

[1fsh2fsh]

May I muse? .....reading cireita's thread of new vs. older Bukowski work caused me to reflect. I first discovered Bukowski in 1977, "Love is a dog from hell", while living with my then girlfreind now x-wife in a transient hotel in Palo Alto Calif. Man, i was blown away and immediately addicted, finally a voice that almost somehow justified my existence, I felt like i had met a kindred soul as i was living (hell, I still am) a similar lifestyle as the ones that he wrote about, even toying with poetry since i was a child. Over the years I have read everything by buk that was easily available. (this sight is a treasure! thanks mjp) finally after having read (and re-read) all that i could find, I caught up to his most current writings with "Betting on the muse". since then i have been able to keep up as new books are released. I have noticed the coolest thing! (at least to me) as Bukowski grew older his demeanor and raw edgy attitude mellowed with age, not completely of course, (thank God) but one tends to grow tired of fighting all of it all the time and starts looking the world with a somewhat kinder less angry(?) (not less cynical) attitude. Me too. So I guess I have been blessed so to speak, growing older with buk. Finding solace in the words of a fellow aging outsider. I know that some on this sight have expressed their caution of (anti) hero worship, but for those of us that have lived our lives "out there" its sure been great to have a man to look up (?) to (or is this just me?) and sometimes when my life was just the shittiest, i would think, what would Buk do? It always helped me to see somekind of profound, ironic (sometime morbid) humor, in some really ugly situations (still does). So now I can only hope that Bukowski has left a shitload of unpublished later work, as i loath living without, what has been words of wisdom from a master at the "real" life......

 

[cirerita]

I don't think B mellowed with age, he just grew wiser -and I say this in the most unpretentious possible way since "wise" is a term which may imply a certain moral superiority which I don't think B had.

I think growing up wiser is one the most beautiful gifts you can find in this life.

 

[1fsh2fsh]

you are so right. and it just keeps getting better

 

[zoom man]

Great Post,
Mr Seuss (1fish, 2fish) :>

Instead of the WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) bumper sticker,
I want a WWBD...

To a fellow guy living "out there",
I Toast! you...
Who wants to live in a fucking cul-de-sac!

(Personally, I never thought I'd live this long..... but that's a whole new thread!)

 

[Rekrab]

I definitely think he grew mellower/wiser with age. Same thing. You're both right. I detected that in the later writing. You can also see it in the scenes in BORN INTO THIS where he's at home with Linda. All the anger seems to have left him. Mellow, peaceful, a calm guy. A film editing trick, or the real thing? I think it's probably real.

 

[riverrat]

long live the zoom man!
being the oldest male in my lineage (60+) i can relate to your post -
ahhhhh! its good to be back!

rrat

 

[1fsh2fsh]

hey zoom man, thanks for the comments, funny thing (kinda) i just found a wwbd sticker on e-bay !! whooda thunk??!!

 

[zoom man]

Indeed,
LONG LIVE ME (Thanks Rat),
(I think)
Yeah, egads I've made it this far!!!
(Janis, Jimmi, and Jim,.... all dead by 27,...
I long ago happily thought it was my fate too, if I was doing good)...
Ain't E-Bay too much fun Dr Seuss?!!

 

[number6horse]

I agree he wisened up later in life. He also said as much in a couple poems, though I can't quote them from memory. I would think that the hostility he displayed early in adulthood and into middle age were the after-effects of all the violence he suffered at the hands of his father. This kind of "inherited" attitude was summed up by a friend of mine who said "Hurt people hurt people".

 

[Olaf]

There is definitely a certain sense of Bukowskis poetic sense crystalising as he got older. Doing what he did...with a great sense of his experience under his belt.

 

[poptop]

The Maturing Of The Fire

....I have noticed the coolest thing! (at least to me) as Bukowski grew older his demeanor and raw edgy attitude mellowed with age, not completely of course, (thank God) but one tends to grow tired of fighting all of it all the time and starts looking the world with a somewhat kinder less angry(?) (not less cynical) attitude. Me too. So I guess I have been blessed so to speak, growing older with buk....

Just landed upon this wonderful post. I myself think Buk took his readers on his personal journey of whatever happened to be going on with him at the time. He wrote about growing old, illness, on-coming death, in the same way that he was writing the raw-honed early stuff in his career. I think he mellowed with age, BUT he could still flare up with passion and conviction even during the twilight of his years"”like an integrated blend of all periods. After all, he'd made it as a celebrated writer and had the well-deserved royalty checks to prove it. Took the pressure off. So he's not to going to write about his periods of poverty or starvation with the same urgency late in life as he did when he was actually starving, starving not only for money but for affection. In his twilight, he still looks back to the glory of those days and looks at those experiences from his matured perspective, yet can still call a fucker and fucker when he sees one and let go with a good right upper-cut, just like in the "old" days.

I also believe he became more spiritual in his thinking, but not religious. Religion is full of dogma; spirituality is more an awareness of the unity of the whole of all life, and he embraced the practice of meditation, a way of deliberate relaxation and the centering of the mind for clarity or physical healing purposes. And of course Linda had a background in meditative practices, so it seems, going back 20 years before, and I think her positive influence on Buk at the final gate of his life was monumental and may have added weeks or months to his life. Or so I do believe. Anyway, I enjoyed your post.

Sincerely, Poptop

 

[slimedog]

Very well said 1fsh2fsh.

 

[ESO9]

It's been a pleasure & inspiration to watch Bukowski grow as a man and a writer.

 

[procrastinator]

Better with age

Bukowski himself admitted that his writing got better as he got older. I can't remember which book it was (maybe The Captain Is Out To Lunch And The Sailor's Have Taken Over The Ship) that he said that " words were coming out of him like chunks of hot coal " and that the words were biting into the page better.

 

[ESO9]

I think he mentions it in Captain and Earth Poems.

 

[procrastinator]

Buk also mentions that when he first started out that his writing was good, his later stuff was better, but his current stuff was the best. I know, I know, all writers say that, right? But damnit, he WAS right!!

 

[Bukfan]

Well, that's up for debate! Some people prefer his earlier poems, some his later poems. I like both, but with a preference for his later poems. Generally speaking...