Mullinax Gets The Axe (1 Viewer)

[MULLINAX]

I'm 49 years old and have never had a full-time job longer than 3 years. I work a series of part-time jobs all over the place, doing all sorts of things. Yesterday I got FIRED from one of them. Here is a verbatim account of yesterday's conversation.

THE BOSS: "You seem to enjoy being a contrarian".

MULLINAX: "I tell it the ways I see it".

THE BOSS: "Don't you like this work?"

MULLINAX: "I know lots of people who would like to do this, but it doesn't mean so much to me."

THE BOSS: "What do you mean by that?"

MULLINAX: "There's only empty space between us."

THE BOSS: (puzzled and visibly angry) "Gather up your things and leave. We will never call you again."

MULLINAX: (gathering up his things) "You do what you have to. I'm going to smoke a cigar and have a drink."

As I was engaged in this conversation, I was thinking about this moment when I would be writing it up. Life does imitate art, especially when you do it on purpose.

 

[Gerard K H Love]

Sorry to hear about that. It seems when I wanted to be fired they wouldn't do it. That only certified what idiots they were. Of course now jobs-good jobs- are harder to find. So we learn to say things like "Gee, boss! That's a great idea." and "You're right boss! You are absolutely right." and the old stand by "That sure is a nice tie you have on."
None of those words were ever uttered by Bukowski or Hank Chinaski I'm guessing since I haven't read everything yet. That is why I like Bukowski so much, because he did what he wanted, no matter what the consiquences.
I am not like that.

 

[Father Luke]

I'm 49 years old and have never . . . (snip)

So. Now you have time.

I used to go on job interviews I never intended to get, and then I had some fun.


(SCENE: Dr's Office. )

Father Luke: Yes. I'm here about the receptionist job.

Doctor: Well. Have a seat. Uh. . .

Father Luke: (Pulling a can of beer from my coat pocket.) Want a beer?

Doctor: I. Uh . . . I don't think. . . Uh. I'm afraid the job has been filled.

Father Luke: (Chugging the beer) Ahhhh. Well. Okay. Do you have a garbage?


Those were the days.
Enjoy yourself there, Baldy.

- -
Okay,
Father Luke

 

[hank solo]

(SCENE: Dr's Office. )

That reminded me of something that happened to a friend of mine. I guess he's one of those 'it would only happen to you' friends that we probably all have.

He'd done the whole interview and was already to start a new job, only thing left was the medical and drug test.

He was told about this on the Monday. This made him nervous because after getting the job on the Friday he'd 'celebrated' at the weekend - pills of some kind. He checked the net and decided that he might just scrape through a urine test. He had to take the chance.

He has always been a kind of a last minute guy and just pulled on a pair of trousers from the weekend.

At the medical centre, the technician said "Take this sample bottle. Now just empty your pockets into this tray and go into the cubicle..." Well, as soon as he felt the spongy plastic bag of weed in his pocket he knew...

To his credit he owned up and still did the test.

After he left the centre he started to look for another job.

 

[number6horse]

A friend of mine tells the story of when he was really desperate for a job and willing to work under less-than-ideal conditions. He is a bartender, but prefers to work in bars that feature good, original live music. Well, he was once so broke that he applied for work in a Lincoln Park sports bar/frat-boy haven. The type of place where 30 to 40 year-old men scream for college sports and try to pick up younger women and brag about their latest Board of Trade/Mercantile victories down on LaSalle Street. The interview went well and he could sense that they were about to offer him a position, but he just couldn't do it. The boss asked him, "So - do you know any good jokes ? We like our servers to kind of entertain our customers."

This was his chance to end the interview and he took it. "Yeah I do ! Tell me - What is black and blue and doesn't want to have sex anymore ?" The boss replied "I don't know ! What IS black and blue and doesn't want to have sex anymore?" My friend answered, "The kid in the trunk of my car !"

End of interview. Withdrawl of job offer. Beginning of self-respect.

 

[MULLINAX]

The above post refers to the City of Chicago.

 

[mjp]

Hmm, number6horse's post doesn't seem to be about the city of Chicago.

I'm not sure how someone could have a conversation with a city anyway. You know, except a conversation that only happened in their head.

 

[number6horse]

Yeah - Lincoln Park is Chicago's premiere yuppified neighborhood.

 

[chronic]

Did he ever let the kid out of his trunk?

 

[bluebottle]

i got fired for the first time over the summer along with three other people. we had all had past run-ins with the law or the mgmt in non-job-related contexts, and when it all came to a head we were sacked outright by the company and told to be off the grounds in three hours. i travel out of a backpack anyhow, and like you mullinax, work off and on when i have to - so it was no big deal to me, or any of us except the one who sang like a canary, but they cut the final check the same day. nice! enjoy your cigar and libations.

 

[MULLINAX]

Does anyone else ever use direct Buk quotes in their daily lives? I've been waiting years to use that line from APOSTROPHES so Saturday's 'recitation' was the fulfillment of a long-held desire.

My dream now is to somehow work "IT BEGAN AS A MISTAKE" into a conversation. Maybe at the next cocktail party I crash.

 

[Father Luke]

My dream now is to somehow work "IT BEGAN AS A MISTAKE" into a conversation. Maybe at the next cocktail party I crash.

A guy I drove 18 wheelers with asked me how I got started driving truck.
I said it began as a mistake. I never said another word about it, and I watched
him laugh silently to himself for about a hundred miles.

 

[number6horse]

Did he ever let the kid out of his trunk?

Yes, and the kid was hired on the spot.

 

[adrian]

I'm 49 years old and have never had a full-time job longer than 3 years. I work a series of part-time jobs all over the place, doing all sorts of things. Yesterday I got FIRED from one of them. Here is a verbatim account of yesterday's conversation.

Simply being honest sometimes get us into rather deep shit does it not?