nu blood thats rotten like rust (1 Viewer)

[reading poetry while]

on the chalk board the teacher i'd like to fuck
oh how a dream
while in bed yank on my cock and think sweet thoughts about her
I wonder how hairy her pussy is or could it be shaven

~i'm new, what do people of that, i'm also wondering if someone could help me write better poems an shit, if your willing to give me tips please dont stand by and let the seagull shit on you

 

[chronic]

If you were to leave out the bits about yanking your cock, fucking your teacher and hairy pussies it would be a start... you could also leave out the seagull shit.

Hello to you too.

 

[ROC]

That would leave;

on the chalk board the teacher
oh how a dream
while in bed and think sweet thoughts about her
I wonder how...

Definitely an improvement.

 

[Short Bus]

Everything ROC said but could you also leave out the below too

on the chalk board the teacher
oh how a dream
while in bed and think sweet thoughts about her
I wonder how...


Welcome..

 

[bootblack]

Some people are writers and some are readers. Maybe you are walking down the wrong path.

Oh, and welcome.

 

[Father Luke]

I liked your title:

nu blood thats rotten like rust

It shows a keen sense of similes, and it's earthiness kicks
me in the face without hurting me, but wakes me up to another reality.

Good poetry does this.

Most of us, however, don't actually come here to learn how to write poetry,
so much as we come here to read, and talk about Charles Bukowski.

I've been looking for a good writing site. Maybe if you find one, a good site to
learn how to write, or maybe a site where we can post our writing, could you
post it with links? A lot of us would be grateful.

Glad you're here!

 

[mjp]

~i'm new, what do people of that...

Are you? You posted under the username comulus too, didn't you?