Post drunk (1 Viewer)

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L

Lazy Fuck

I drank a bottle of wine in 15 min. My girlfriend at work so the place is all mine. I am not a native Eglish speaker. Just 5 mins ago I was Reading a Hubert Selby book and filled all the blank pages in the end of the book with some really blur writing. I DO NOT have the courage to find the book and see what I wrote. I am a fuckong hoaz. I can't write. I mean... I write better than 99% of people, in Finnish that is, but it's not enough, I don't care. Nothing's enough. So I registered into a Bukowski discussion forum, what a fuckong laugh, thinkin g I'd get some answers here.

The book I read was Waiting Period. I laughed. But hey, I'm drunk. i'm beyond salvation.

I'm listening to Lou Reed's Berlin and I'm too depressed to write why. Please do understand taht I would never even under any circumstances talk about any of the stuff that I am now writing in a fuckin dropdead drunkness to ANYBODY.

I really, really, am as fucked up as D. Fante and Bukowski, but I REALLY, really am not not there where I'm supposed to be, writing... WELL.

I Realize that this is fucking pathetic, but I've written dozens of notebooks and hundreds of pages to my lap top about these kind o things and no one here knows my identity so I can drag myself to the local food market or wwhateverthefuckitis in the mornin n buy a red bull. And then wander to the next liquer store.

I am beyond salvation, I am just writing. Selby got to me. i am not a good writer, in ant language, if i could i would not choose to be. i listen to lou reed, drunk as a motherfuckin skunk, high on DAN qdn Selby.

This is not the way I am. In the mornin, when I weak up n maybe check this website some who'd read the Selby novel would have posted 'It's okay you fucking lunatic, we've all been thorug that hell'

there's still some wine. I', gonna listen the men of good fortune now....

forgive me.
 
I forgive you, but I am no one. Forgive yourself, that's more important.

i am not a good writer, in ant language, if i could i would not choose to be.

I like that, wether it was unintentional, drunk or not.
 

Ponder

"So fuck Doubleday Doran"
RIP
You may like

post-nothing.jpg
 
L

Lazy Fuck

Learn this: Bukowski was less fucked up than most other ppl. If you don't understand this then stop writing at once and get a steady job.:rolleyes:
You really need to learn this: people write funny things when they're dead drunk. I'm drunk right now. Funnyfunnyfunnyfunny. Thanks for the winemixing song, hadn't heard that one. Cash I had. I am Johnny Cash. Honestly.
 

hoochmonkey9

Art should be its own hammer.
Reaper Crew
Moderator
Founding member
wait, I thought you were Batman. you can't be both Johnny Cash and Batman. that's just greedy. next you're going to tell us you're Steve McQueen and Robert Mitchum and Bogart.

oh wait, I just double checked; you never claimed to be Batman, someone just guessed you might be Batman.

so I guess you're telling the truth about being Johnny Cash. my mistake and apologies.

could you play I Still Miss Someone? that'd be super.
 
L

Lazy Fuck

And I am Batman.

When I broke up with my last girlfriend I went to the movies to see the Dark Knight with one of my best friends. I had seen the flick before, but I felt so bad that I could not be. We drove to downtown Helsinki, we sought a spot for the car and stuck a coin into a parking meter (or whateverthehell it is in English) and tossed the ticket on the dash.

Then we walked a mile or so to the theater. We sat through the film. Every once in a while a dried my eyes.

The film ended and we got back to the car and drove home, I dropped him first off and then I drove around aimlessly for hours making pointless calls to HER, not having anything to say. Didn't know what else to do.

Me and my friend never spoke ONE word while we sat in the car and on the theater seats and walked together.

About a week from that we met once again and I was feeling better, pretty good actually. And we never mentioned the Batman gig to anyone ever, including eachother.

So in a sense... I am Batman
 

hoochmonkey9

Art should be its own hammer.
Reaper Crew
Moderator
Founding member
ummm, great story. was this before or after you married June Carter?
 
L

Lazy Fuck

Before, obviously. June's all that a woman could ever be to any man. The fulfillment of all desires. You know how it could be.

And Reese Witherspoon was......... aaaaaaaah beautiful in that film. Not quite my June though...
 
L

Lazy Fuck

I'm starting to feel I'm actually nothing at all.

Just went for a cigarette. I'm back to the Laptop now. Realized that I was thinking in English all that time. And The speed of sound is playing. And I realize how irritating it is when a foreigner shows up at a Writing forum writing so bad. I'd despise anyone who'd write bad Finnish at a Finnish writing forum. But I'm getting there. English is only my third language after Finnish and Swedish. This allows me to read Hamsun in Norwegian. And Ibsen. And Loe. Bet you're jealous now.

After these looong existential chats with my head department I usually just give up. Like they say in A Love song for Bobby Long: They had read too many books.

And I'm just 22. And worn-out. Digging Social Distortion and re-reading Cobain's journals, finding no path to walk upon. I really am not a Lazy Fuck. I'm just lost... a lost fucking fuck.
 

mjp

Founding member
I realize how irritating it is when a foreigner shows up at a Writing forum writing so bad.
Whoever told you this was a writing forum was incorrect. It is not.

Maybe you were thinking of this. You should go there. They would love you.

Go there and stay away from here.

Just a thought.
 
are you on acid or what?

No. I am most certainly not. MJP has explained to me that the site could be confiscated by the authorities if it seemed like he was allowing or encouraging people to use illegal drugs while reading and posting.

I now enjoy the refreshing halucinations associated with inhalants (I just enjoyed some deoderant sprayed in a hankerchief) And I feel better knowing that I am not breaking any laws or endangering the Bukowski board.

LSD is not for me, spray in a can well, yes I am !
 
L

Lazy Fuck

Whoever told you this was a writing forum was incorrect. It is not.

Maybe you were thinking of this. You should go there. They would love you.
maybe you were thinking of http://www.dpi.org/. You should go there. They would love you. Just a thought.

Second that thought

Is it possible to finish the Finnish.
and you too... Why the fuck do you have to be so cruel to people? On a Bukowski forum. That's a fucking laugh.
 

mjp

Founding member
Lazy Fuck said:
Why the fuck do you have to be so cruel to people?
Well aren't you a delicate little flower!

My post wasn't a joke, this is not a writing forum, the other one is.

You are gearing up to a meltdown, as most of us could see from your first couple posts. So go ahead and play out the scenario.
 
L

Lazy Fuck

You are gearing up to a meltdown, as most of us could see from your first couple posts. So go ahead and play out the scenario.
I will, I will! I am drifting, I am drifting! I sought help! Oooooh. I thought there would be some decent people in a Bukowski forum. But it doesn't matter. 'You are earing up to a meltdown', REALLY!?. Tell me something I didn't know.

Thinking about all this... Losing everything in my life... my family, my passion... The worst thing would be to wake up some day finding out I'd posted almost 10 000 times to an Internet site. That would be game over for me. Fuck You
 

mjp

Founding member
You "sought help"? Must be a language barrier. All you did is come in and wave your cliche-ridden dick around.

You aren't the first 22 year old to feel the horrible weight of the universe crushing your pure and wonderful soul. I know you think you are, and that you're the first one with the ability to eloquently describe the feeling. It's cute in its way. Let those delusions be your solace, brother. Keep sticking it to the man! It's you against the world. You'll win. You have righteousness on your side.
 
L

Lazy Fuck

Seek for help. I not an American like you are, but I'm quite sure I've heard that expression before.

Cliche? Cliche... Hmmh... Is it cliche to assume the things you write about? I feel I am the first to describe anything? Don't you feel that you're talking out of your arse (so to speak)? Guess not. Why would you think you are anyone to talk about my thoughts based on some random posts on the Net?

Nietzsche writes that he's doing a favor to anyone he mentions in his books, even if he's smashing them completely. My only comfort here is that you've read that too.

I'm no enemy. And though, I admit, I got angry because of you, I do believe you were once me, having these kind of thoughts and SEEKING FOR HELP. I hope you've not become that bitter old fuck who despises everything that doesn't fit his world of thoughts.

There are few questions, even less answers. No conclusions. I only hope people would be more kind to each other. It would make all this easier to bear.

I hope U understand sumthin outta all this, eventhough there's the language barrier. U've got different things going on. You're angry. We don't fit together. But if people will not show sympathy HERE, where will they?

Furthermore, I'm just glad that you responded to my posts. It's been a hell of a few days. You wouldn't believe if I told you. So you mocking me... is the best thing that could happen to me right now... you thinking you've got me all figured out... it just show's me I on the right path.

Go fuck yourself, with love
 

mjp

Founding member
you mocking me... is the best thing that could happen to me right now... you thinking you've got me all figured out...
I have you figured out as far as your life on this forum is concerned, absolutely, because you are following a well-worn path.

I don't care about your life or your problems. If you walk into a room full of strangers and start to complain about your life, you are going to turn them off. If you walk into a room full of friends, you will get a different reception. But you are a stranger here, get it? You walked in to our room complaining and boasting and pontificating and it's not making a great impression on anyone. That's what I meant by "waving your dick around." There's an English idiom lesson for you.

This forum isn't here to support you and hug you and tell you everything will be all right. You need to offer up something other than whining and boasting about how drunk you are, otherwise you'll just be shown the door. It doesn't have to end like that. It probably will, but it doesn't have to.
 

hoochmonkey9

Art should be its own hammer.
Reaper Crew
Moderator
Founding member
LOVE ME! HATE ME! HELP ME! FEED MY CAT WHEN I GO ON VACATION!

Lazy Fuck, you remind me of a few ex-girlfriends. and yes, I realize I'm no catch myself, but I can change my own diaper. without showing the contents to anybody.
 
L

Lazy Fuck

This forum isn't here to support you and hug you and tell you everything will be all right. You need to offer up something other than whining and boasting about how drunk you are, otherwise you'll just be shown the door. It doesn't have to end like that. It probably will, but it doesn't have to.
Sad things... By the way, I'm coming to Armorica (that's a Joyce reference you wouldn't know anything about) this year, would you mind lending me your couch for a few days?

Oh, and yes, you lost me there where you assumed that I was doing something other than waving my dick around. I mean, what else would you have me do? What do you do? Besides holding up a respectable image at a website?

But seriously, how about the couch?
 

number6horse

okyoutwopixiesoutyougo
Sad things... By the way, I'm coming to Armorica (that's a Joyce reference you wouldn't know anything about)

Please don't come to our country.

[EDIT] Just searched your other posts and found this gem

Hello everyone, I'm Lazy Fuck

I already introduced myself in the top movies thread. In desperate search of attention I'll also introduce myself here.

I'm a twenty-sumthing guy (existential crisis at hand), residing in Finland. Since there probably is a town called Finland somewhere in Alabama, I'll specify: that is the Finland in between Russia and Sweden.

BOLD = Troll Behavior

ITALICS = Condescending Prick Behavior
 

mjp

Founding member
There are many disturbing things about that picture, but the most disturbing thing has to be the tshirt...what the fuck is up with that? Is there an industry now, geared up to sell tshirts with illustrations of teenage boys in diapers? Is there that much demand?

ugh.jpg


I know they go for that kind of shit in places like France and Finland, but has it spread elsewhere?
 
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