send in those poetry submissions- the birth of chance press (1 Viewer)

Not open for further replies.
believe me, you don't want to know what he wrote.

and speaking of paper: anyone got any suggestions for the kind of paper we could use for the body of the chapbook? nice paper that's a step above copy paper but isn't pricey?

You can get Hammermill 28lb copy paper in Office Depot. That is thick enough to keep the print from showing through. It is about $15 / 500 sheets, so it is not too much.

Otherwise, if you go to, they have some cool stuff and sell direct. You can get their stuff in packs of 500. It would be worth picking up their sample books first to see what you like the best.

Then for laid paper, there is always neenah. They have some cool laid white paper.



Usually wrong.
Hack away at my bio. A couple words will do. Make them up if you like. Or just say I'm currently residing in Oregon State Hospital but will have to change wards when they tear the old building down.


Founding member
If you pricks touch one word of my comprehensive biography, I promise you that I will swoop down on Oaktown in a motorcade of Lincoln Navigators full of Howard Sounes' unfed, sleep-deprived lawyers and two dozen of my 18th street homeboys. Unfriendly times, unfriendly times indeed.

Mark my word, paper will be he least of your worries.

We know where you live.


Gerard K H Love

Appreciate your friends
You can reduce mine to "He's boring" to make room to print the full version of War and MJPeace. all 5 chapters.

Thank you Johannes. Austrian perfectionist extraordiaire.
Do what you like with my bio, but if you've a mind to, I'm now 45, not 44. Of course, if you could change that to 31, I could probably throw away my Viagra.


Usually wrong.
Okay, you can make mine simply "He's even more boring." But then it'll have to follow Gerard's bio.


stop the penistry
and here i was getting all worried that you guys would be a little mad i was cutting down your bios... now it's just that fucker mjp i have to placate.

Woo Whoo looking forward to this.

Go ahead and do what you gotta do to my bio, I'm sure you will only make it better.

Paper note: Flax art supplies in SF has a great selection of papers.
I was just in there getting paper on Saturday for a broadside I'm doing for S.A. Griffin.

I don't have much of a bio so instead if it will help you can put some of MJP's bio under my name.

Is it true that this is going to be one of Oprah's pick of books?
Oprah will find out that many of us cannot tell the difference between the smell of the bindings on the early books vs. the later books. We will all be shamed that we pretended to smell the hoppy aromas when all we really smelled was paper.


Lolita Twist

I hate Oprah. I think she's secretly pretentious & her supposed wholesomeness annoys the fuck outta me. I get that she helps people, that's all well and good. But if you wanna help people, do it on your time, and not on your programme slot so everyone gets the illusion that you're a good person. Oprah preaches confidence to "women", yet it seems to me someone who lets hundreds of millions of people know that she's a "good person" ain't that confident herself.


Founding member
Enough about Oprah, already.

If she turns on the book I'll go sit on that couch and flirt with her a little bit. Trust me, there is not a woman alive who can resist me. She'll be eating out of my hand. We'll all be rich.

Well, Justine and Jordan will be rich. You can bet your ass we'll never see a dime. They'll disappear to an oceanside South Pacific compound in Chile and taunt us through an anonymous proxy internet connection, posting as "NULLINAX" and "floundering boy."

But I will still find them. 18th street has a long reach. And with Oprah by my side - and Oprah's money on my side - well, they can run, but they can't hide.
If she turns on the book I'll go sit on that couch and flirt with her a little bit. Trust me, there is not a woman alive who can resist me. She'll be eating out of my hand. We'll all be rich.

I can just see you jumping up and down on that couch like Tom Cruise. ;)


Founding member
Nah, baby, I'll have Oprah jumping up and down on the couch, ya dig? That's just how I roll in these modern times.

Father Luke

Founding member


Art should be its own hammer.
Reaper Crew
Founding member
well, I convinced Jordan to let me have a look at mjp's opus. interesting to say the least.

it starts off "Call me Ishmael. I SAID CALL ME ISHMAEL, BITCH !!!" and then it goes on about whales for awhile, and how whales are pussies, especially the sperm whale.

then he talks about Janet Jackson for a bit. I won't get into that.

and then there's 13 pages on the MIGHTY HERMAPHRODITE WAR OF '88!!! (his all caps, not mine). not sure what he's on about there, but mjp called it "a mighty victory."

4 pages on tantric sex. this section is a tad difficult to decipher, as it's in all caps and there is very little spacing between words and there are these emoticons everywhere that I've never seen before. but there is one section that I'm pretty sure mjp says he's either better at tantric sex than Sting, or he had tantric sex with Sting. I should add that in this section the word 'tantric' is misspelled several times as 'tantrum.'

then it gets garbled, and it ends with "The English language is inadequate to display all my masturfull (sic) virtues."


"The law is wrong; I am right"
I should add that in this section the word 'tantric' is misspelled several times as 'tantrum.'

A misspell? Too bad, "tantrum sex" sounded interesting! :D
You can do whatever you need for my bio. If, I actually wrote one. Honestly, I just don't remember. I think I did, but...

Sorry for my absence here kiddos. Lost me gig Nov. 21 and have been in a whole other world of existence since then. One where I am not at a computer 40 hours a week with nothing else to do.

And no, I did not lose my job because I spent all my time on the internet. Shit just got fucked by the economy and well, you know.

I hope to get back here more regularly soon. And, I did order 2 extra copies of the book other than the contrib copy. There very well may be two extras out there when this comes out for someone else wanting to buy it. Hopefully shit turns around by APRIL!!!! Yes, I jest. But not about not being able to get those two others. Stay tuned....

Did a bit of that make sense? I'm rather bombed.

I miss y'all.


Not read nor write
I'm officially pushing this thread into 2009. AND asking: any news? Yes, I already checked the website. Mid-january.

Just asking, just asking, don't look me that way :)
I was just thinking the same thing myself yesterday. Whoa, could me being out of internet circulation have prevented me from the riches of this book?!
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread