Damn, Whitman knew it! (1 Viewer)

cirerita

Founding member
Hey, guys, I just put my little one to sleep and wrote a few lines. They're as unpolished as you can get, and it shows, but what the hell.

"We Celebrate"

I was sitting in an old, battered wooden bench,
and my little one was running around
in the garden.
I always have a book
in my hands,
taking notes,
looking like a most serious fellow,
but today I just had time
on my hands,
and she usually brings me flowers
and puts them in my pockets
while singing songs no one understands,
but today she left them
on my lap,
silently.
She had me:
I almost broke down.

And I took off my clothes
and run naked in the garden,
laughing out so loud that the trees
and the birds
and the clouds
and the butterflies
stopped dead,
startled into life.
And we rolled down the grass,
embraced like ancient children,
and we screamed
and we squealed,
feeling the leaves of grass
and the twigs of time
against our bodies.
And the dogs looked at us,
not knowing what to do,
and the ants took a turn
south,
far from the feast,
and the lizards sunbathed,
untouched.
And then I walked her in my arms
and put her to sleep,
knowing that the day was far from done.

The gods smiled.
 
I know poems are not usually allowed here, but this is the first time I ever post a poem on this forum...

I know that some of you might think, "C'mon, another 'I-love-my-kid' poem? Why don't you grow up?" Well, that might be true, but I used to think that way a few years ago. You know, you can understand things as concepts but you can also experience them. And it's not the same, is it?
 
There is NOTHING in the Whole World
just QUITE as beautiful
as the Love of a child!



everyone who had it, knows for sure.
 
We Celebrate

Wonderful poem. Thanks for sharing this beautiful father/daughter moment. I'm sure she will treasure it once she's old enough to understand. Best wishes to both of you.
 
I missed this one and thanks to justin grimbol now I read it. Muy bueno, cirerita, me gustaron mucho las imágenes que utilizaste. Aparecen fluàdas y originales. Sé muy bien que no pediste (y quizás no permitas) una cràtica, pero yo le quitarà el ultimo verso para que quedase una perfecta esfera. De lo que no hay objeción alguna es de la alegrìa arrolladora que transmite el poema. Ojalá pudiese leer más material tuyo.

For the rest that can't read Spanish, I'm giving cirerita here an unsolicited opinion on the poem's structure. I hope we can read more from him.
 
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