“Blatant tonality” sounds like Bukowski. He could be awkward when it came to “big words”. Of course, “tonality” is not the sort of word he would ever use in conversation, so is this the work of the Christian Scientist?
I count about five adverbs linked to “laughing”. Is this Martinizing? There are no swear words. A few references to drinking, none to drunkenness.
I suppose I could look up the poem in the database. (Five minutes later.) The database doesn’t say anything about the manuscript being altered/edited/bowdlerized.