R.I.P. Captain Beefheart (1 Viewer)

I remember Captain Beefheart as being the most intriguing musician when I was 14 or 15.

"Big Joan was too fat to go out in the daytime so she stayed home and rolled all night long ......."

I always liked the way his band could play some of their music perfectly yet scrambled it up the way the sounds go in your head when your on LSD, or so I've been told. It was if he was goofing around all of the time only he really got it and knew how to do it if he felt like it.
my hat's my only home unless it rains...

Frank Zappa considered him an equal and that's good enough for me.
Here's to the true weirdos...
Captain Beefheart's Ten Commandments For Guitarists

1. LISTEN TO THE BIRDS That's where all the music comes from. Birds know everything about how it should sound and where that sound should come from. And watch hummingbirds. They fly really fast, but a lot of times they aren't going anywhere.

2. YOUR GUITAR IS NOT REALLY A GUITAR Your guitar is a divining rod. Use it to find spirits in the other world and bring them over. A guitar is also a fishing rod. If you're good, you'll land a big one.

3. PRACTICE IN FRONT OF A BUSH Wait until the moon is out, then go outside, eat a multi-grained bread and play your guitar to a bush. If the bush doesn't shake, eat another piece of bread.

4. WALK WITH THE DEVIL Old delta blues players referred to amplifiers as the "devil box." And they were right. You have to be an equal opportunity employer in terms of who you're bringing over from the other side. Electricity attracts demons and devils. Other instruments attract other spirits. An acoustic guitar attracts Casper. A mandolin attracts Wendy. But an electric guitar attracts Beelzebub.

5. IF YOU'RE GUILTY OF THINKING, YOU'RE OUT If your brain is part of the process, you're missing it. You should play like a drowning man, struggling to reach shore. If you can trap that feeling, then you have something that is fur bearing.

6. NEVER POINT YOUR GUITAR AT ANYONE Your instrument has more power than lightning. Just hit a big chord, then run outside to hear it. But make sure you are not standing in an open field.

7. ALWAYS CARRY YOUR CHURCH KEY You must carry your key and use it when called upon. That's your part of the bargain. Like One String Sam. He was a Detroit street musician in the fifties who played a homemade instrument. His song "I Need A Hundred Dollars" is warm pie. Another church key holder is Hubert Sumlin, Howlin' Wolf's guitar player. He just stands there like the Statue of Liberty making you want to look up her dress to see how he's doing it.

8. DON'T WIPE THE SWEAT OFF YOUR INSTRUMENT You need that stink on there. Then you have to get that stink onto your music.

9. KEEP YOUR GUITAR IN A DARK PLACE When you're not playing your guitar, cover it and keep it in a dark place. If you don't play your guitar for more than a day, be sure to put a saucer of water in with it.

10. YOU GOTTA HAVE A HOOD FOR YOUR ENGINE Wear a hat when you play and keep that hat on. A hat is a pressure cooker. If you have a roof on your house the hot air can't escape. Even a lima bean has to have a wet paper towel around it to make it grow.
man oh man, that is some good, fine shit right there. I need to run in the closet and put a saucer of water in there with my old dusty telecaster.

good advice for writers too...
"And watch hummingbirds. They fly really fast, but a lot of times they aren't going anywhere."

Thanks for the list mjp. Now Capt. Beefheart makes even more sense than before. I heard about the birds from the birds while sitting on my roof when the sun came up in 1971. It was crows that reminded me of Capt. Beefheart at the time. They didn't want a 16 year old man on the roof that early.
I was impressionable and he was quite profound or I was gullible and he was not.
sir, I say I am shocked that a gentleman would suggest I might play anything but a goddamn American Telecaster. shocked.

she's a 1995 sunburst just like this one:


and, um, no. I still love her even though I had to put her away.

she was kind of crazy.

Sometimes they just don't listen, and need to be disciplined. Like women.

But like women, they only become meaner after too much time in the closet. So your plan may backfire.

Either way, I find it disgusting that you would compare a guitar to a woman!

Guitars are much more loyal...

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