We love being paradoxical, don't we? ;)
Sometimes I just wish my English wasn't that stiff and I could reply the way I would in Spanish, I really miss the playfulness, the openness, the meandering(ness)... but, hey, mastering a language isn't that easy. You would think that once you've mastered the slang and the jargon then you should be done, but no, big mistake. Slang and jargon are kool, ain't that true? but they are not the key to truly mastering a language. You need that playfulness and openness I mentioned before...
anyway, back to the topic. I do believe that to really claim you're no longer blindly admiring someone the first thing you are supposed to do is to stop believing every single word that person utters, aren't you? I mean, how can I say: "You know, I no longer look up to B. as I used to do", and then just prove a point by using B.'s own reasonings??? That's just paradoxical. Yeah, I know, life's a paradox anyway.
just a final boring, scholarly note: money ALWAYS concerned B. If you had read all his unpublished letters, you would agree with me. He was always insecure, even in the 80's, when he was doing reasonably well. I bet he didn't gamble daddy's house money away...