A Bukowski line that made you laugh out loud! (1 Viewer)

No kiddin...
"I was then 8 or ten inches tall. I was growing. I even scared pigeons. When you scare pigeons you know you are getting there."

I was then 8 or ten inches tall. I was growing.

purple and eight or ten inches, and growing. you got it.
keep 'em coming.

Can't remember where this one is from but I burst out laughing at reading it. Perfect way to disarm someone and shut them up at the same time

"just who the hell do you think you are?" :mad:

"I don't know" :D
the last lines of "eating the father" (as recited by Bukowski)

I suppose I would have done
the same thing without even asking
but I think a better photograph
would have been of the remains
of the father
something like
an after Thanksgiving
Well, there's always the line "Vera, I'd like to jam a live codfish up your ass!" from a story in Erections ... ... or in Women where he gives the four Mexican kids 50 cents and thinks, IMMORTAL WRITER COMES TO AID OF STREET URCHINS ... but my fave may be also from Women. He's been seeing a woman named Sara who refuses to have sex with him because she is the follower of this Indian guru named Dreyer Baba. So finally, on New Year's Eve, she has sex with him, and afterwards, he looks up at the ceiling and says:

"... Dreyer Baba, forgive her ... But since he never talked and he never touched money I could neither expect an answer nor could I pay him."
Where I found this, I don't know, but I carry it written on a piece of paper in my purse:

"I don't know about other people, but when I bend over to put on my shoes in the morning, I think, Christ almighty, now what."
No kiddin...
"I was then 8 or ten inches tall. I was growing. I even scared pigeons."
And earlier on in Six Inches, when she is using him as a dildo and then brings him up to her face and says, "Come! You damned fiend of a thing! Come!"

For some reason, that always cracks me up.
These lines from, "All The Great Writers" (from "The Most Beautiful Woman In Town"), always cracks me up:

"and when I was in college, all these guys walking around the locker rooms, real cool like ya know? why one guy even had BALLS down to his KNEES! we used to call him BEACHBALLS HARRY. after BEACHBALLS HARRY came, baby, it was all OVER! like a waterhose spurting curdled cream! when that stuff dried...why, man in the morning he'd have to beat the sheets with a baseball bat, shake the flakes off before he sent it to the laundry..." :D
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Another great line is from Women. Of course, there are so many great lines from that. After stumbling over the bed frame, and cutting his ankle, and bleeding like a...can't say it, sorry.

"Henry Chinaski is, without a doubt, the greatest one-legged poet in the world."

I still can't read that line in context without pissing me pants.:D

I may have posted this already, but this thread is old.
RubyRed that's one of my favorites too.

Mildot, I have quoted that one in emails to friends before detailing stories of my own idiocies.

"love is for guitar players, catholics, and chess freaks"

"I don't know what happened to the track star. He just ran off I guess."

I love that one. The only instance of Bukowski punning? Low key anyway...

and a couple other lines in women i can't recall right now.
Which poem


Sometimes I laugh when something is just so damn good.

Which work is the line, ""they thought I had guts but they had it all wrong" from? I have only read Factotum and Post Office and I am soon going to hit Ham on Rye, Slouching Toward Nirvana and South of No North.
Which work is the line, ""they thought I had guts but they had it all wrong" from?

It's from a poem called 'wall clock' which appears in the collection 'Open All Night'.
I think its from notes - he's taking about war, about all the men going off to fight but casanova staying behind and fucking all the women.

he says, 'but casanova died too, just an old man with a big dick and a long tongue and no guts at all.' love that line
"...and the soldier said: FUCK THAT GUY!
which I thought was a very nice thing for him
to tell his wife to do.
of course,
she never did."

(from: the soldier, his wife and the bum. in: Last Night of the Earth, p.293)
I'm too sober right now to laugh at anything but this one always makes me smirk:

Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and eight times out of nine I'll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualities.

Whenever I've lived alone I always keep my kitchen pretty tidy but I have no problem with letting that confession condemn me.
The signature quote below from HORSEMEAT.

Countless times it saved me from endlessly dull, dull, dull publishers sales meetings, when I would think of it and break into a smile and be saved by the BUK once again. While he did it physically, I would do it mentally.

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