Coming soon from Pig Ear Press (1 Viewer)

hoochmonkey9

Art should be its own hammer.
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Here's the tentative cover for a collection of my short stories being put out by Mr Lally this winter.

More info to follow.

hines template.jpg
 
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I dig that Ozzy song about him...

Mr. Lally, what went down in your head?
Oh Mr. Lally, did you talk to the dead?
Your lifestyle to me seems so tragic
With the thrill of it all
You fooled all the people with magic
You waited on Satan's call

That being said, the cover is very good. Un-tentative it!
 
My mum once had tea and cake with Black Sabbath on Worthing Pier. How different my life could have been.

I plan to order the printing plates next week, but as the cut off for Christmas post to Canada and the US is in about ten minutes I don't expect the books to be ready to ship until January.
 
The plate was actually too big for my Adana 8x5 so I had to saw it in half, with the figure and the footsteps being printed separately. I set the type last night fot the title in 12pt Spartan and Mr Hines' name in 72pt Wing Dings. I was doing this while watching Sons of Anarchy so there may now be a man on fire running through the woods being chased by a hooker with a bike chain.

The books should be ready and bound up like an extra in a Dirty Harry film within the next two weeks. It will be a limited edition of 50 copies.
 
The plate was actually too big for my Adana 8x5...
The ligaments that I tore in my elbow a few years back say you are out of your mind printing this kind of thing on 5x8. But the hacker in me understands.

But it seems like you passed on an opportunity to print a three color cover. Since you were making three impressions anyway...
 
The ligaments that I tore in my elbow a few years back say you are out of your mind printing this kind of thing on 5x8. But the hacker in me understands.

But it seems like you passed on an opportunity to print a three color cover. Since you were making three impressions anyway...
It was going to be in black, red and gold, but the red just didn't look right so I've gone for black for the image and gold for the text.

I used to use a Vandercook but it cost me £25 for 3 hours, so I pretty much had to get in, set the form and do the run before I even had time to put the kettle on and think about what I was doing. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. So you're adding on average £50 to the cost before you even think about plates, paper, ink, etc. So long story short, I grabbed an 8x5 for a bargain bucket finger licking good price off ebay (the previous owner died- perhaps from trying to print book covers on the press?)

I live in what an estate agent would say is a "cosy" flat. The press runs on my landing, next to the sash window with the rotten frame (note the old cling-film on the window trick)

MyLandingPress.jpg


And for proof of the sawing (or for fans of shoes on stairs)

Saw.jpg
 
...(or for fans of shoes on stairs)...
I can't help but think about this:

"...and then you get cornered by some drunken greengrocer from Luton with an Instamatic and Dr. Scholl sandals and last Tuesday's 'Daily Express' and he drones on and on and on about how Mr. Smith should be running this country and how many languages Enoch Powell can speak and then he throws up all over the Cuba Libres."

But that's just me. Put me down for one of these tomes by Matt Lauer Mr. Hooch. I'll be travelling for a week or so, but back in time to stake my claim.
 
Jerry Garcia once said that their fans are like those who like licorice. Not everyone likes licorice, but those who do, really like licorice. Not sure how a staircase-laden gummy worm works into this discussion, but it might relate to either adolescent ingestion of LSD or flat feet and their relevance to Jell-O Biafra and third world agronomy.
 
I feel violated!

Just imagine what you would have found if I'd put pictures up of my nipping press, which is in the bedroom (it's not a sex thing. well not yet anyway. maybe when we've run out of Woody Allen films to recreate. she has a bad back from seven straight weeks of dressing as a giant boob.)

Pieces of that pink worm will be included in the first five copies of the book along with a piece of that gold sandal in the background. All copies will be signed by my social worker.
 
Pull up your socks and knock back that energy drink, it's time to run to the bookshop as Mr Hines's book is now available for purchase from here www.pigearpress.co.uk

You could of course spend your money on a skinny-sucralose laced-frothed-blended-soya milked-latte, but then you would never hear about what happened to the dog. What did happen to the dog? Well, my friend, you're just going to have to buy the book and find out.
 
I bought it, but I don't understand your sales process, brother. You have a picture of the book on your site - stick a PayPal link next to it. Done.

As it is now, from the link you posted someone has to click through to Etsy (?!) then to PayPal, which makes eight or ten clicks and two username/passwords (assuming you have an Etsy account - if you don't, you have to open one (!)) to do something that could be done in two clicks.

Maybe it's an anti-sales process, what do I know.
 
I bought using PayPal as well, which seemed the least confusing option for me. But that you'll still take a personal check warms my cold, cold heart.
 
Mea culpa, I missed the text that gives the direct PayPal email address.

I see: "please click here to buy books" and I click here, like I'm told. I don't keep reading. And I don't suppose I'm alone, though @skiroomalum is clearly more curious and patient than I am.
 
I'll have to fix this tonight. I'm terrible at website stuff. If only they made the buttons in lead.

Anyone who wants to just send me payment via paypal my address is [email protected]

Including P&P it's:

£6.50 UK
£7.50 EU
£8.50 Everywhere else

Apologies for any confusion :( maybe "the confusion will be enough for them to leave you alone"*


*see chance press for that book...after you've bought the one from my press of course!

And thanks to everyone who has fought through and got payment into my coffers.

Tonight the children shall eat at the table!
 
Thanks folks.

For those members who bought/will be buying, please pm me a mailing address. No rush, as these drawings won't be ready until end of summer. Paired with my laziness, I'm also coaching 3 different baseball teams this summer. What is it with aging hipsters and baseball?

And if you don't care about the drawing, just don't pm me your address. My feelings won't be hurt. My genius can be too much for some people to handle. Cough.
 
the offer of a nude self-portrait from hooch was obviously too tempting for some as I now only have 10 copies left for sale. The first batch are being shipped today. Thanks again to everyone who has thrown me some coins.

(I am wondering in light of the above whether all these buyers are in fact eight-year-old wannabe pitchers trying to buy favour? "Hey coach, coach! I loved that story about that tired man. And you know, my mum's single now. And she makes a good pie. And look at this arm; I should put this baby on ice..")
 

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