New Buknet Band Forming! (1 Viewer)

I am pleased as punch to inform eveyone that a new band has been formed on Buknet! It now consists of MJP, number6horse and jordan on guitars and myself and purple stickpin on rythm and lead bass respectfully. We are seeking new recruits and have already secured a recording contract and world tour. Alas, a name has not been forged yet so we are open to suggestions. We will primarily be doing disco versions of classic metal songs and are actively seeking those who will be flexible to our style.
 
I'm the perfect sex drum machine for that, I have the groove and the style. Nevermind my old band The Shitstains, I made all possible mistakes with them, but without The Shitstains I would have never learned to play unbeatable gorgeous like I do now. Will you book that flight for me this evening at 20:00? And I want glam crack whores to pick me up in a stretch limo at the airport

Hey Cowboy, wanna join in on third bass?
 
I'll be the subnormal fool in the crowd who plays along with his harmonica. Yes, I actually have one. Several, in fact, including some rather fancy big ones. I was in an unnamed band in the 60s, was invited to go on tour with them to Japan but didn't want to leave school and my wife behind, so I begged off. I never found out what became of them. It was an amorphous group of about 20 art students. We performed on campus a few times.
 
And now we have a name:

unbeatable gorgeous

Keith Emerson called me a few minutes ago and begged to be in the band. "I have wanted to bring the MOOGs out of mothballs for decades," he said, "I will pay for the U-Haul and Quaaludes!"

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When I told him that Quaaludes didn't exist anymore there was silence at the other end of the line. Finally he said, "Well, I can bring my Xanax prescription, and 30 or 40 Claritins..."

So he's in.

All we need now is a third bass player, a Chapman stick player, a few Kodo drummers and someone to work the lights and fog machine. Once all the pieces are in place I'm pretty sure I can get us a gig opening for the Midwest touring version of Blue Man Group. It's mostly dinner theaters and church basements, but at least we'll eat well.
 
And I'll be your official groupie ! If you're kind, I'll make you sandwiches. Vegetarian ones, of course.
 
Dudes you're gonna need Back Up singers for your Disco Metal Band.
With my Vocoder and Chorus Box I can sound like a mean kick ass head bangin quarter note thumpin choir. I also am a great Utility Player, I have a bass and drums, a shit load of percussion and a truck.

(I can also do monitors and fend off (distract) all the boyfriends.):D
 
first cover request ... Iron Maiden - "Run To The Hills" with a K.C. feel \

-or-

if that's TOO old skool:

Death - "Pull The Plug" with some BeeGee's swagger.

(p.s. I used to sing in some grind and death metal bands ... need grunts? holla' at me ;)
 
I'll manage the groupies and give them a quality control before before the band can enjoy them. You guys deserves only the best groupies available!

And I'll be your official groupie ! If you're kind, I'll make you sandwiches. Vegetarian ones, of course.

Sandwiches? Ambreen, I think you have misunderstood the groupie job description, but I'll be willing to give you a quality control none the less. The code word is versatility and a mentality that's eager to please!
 
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I'll make you sandwiches. Vegetarian ones, of course.
Oh, cool - two members of Unbeatable Gorgeous with a vegetarian between them. I'm down for that. As long as none of those fucking Kodo drummers are involved. Those guys are into some sick shit. And they photograph everything.
 
Well, it wouldn't be a rock band without controversy. I'd like to take this opportunity to announce that I'm leaving unbeatably gorgeous and will be releasing a solo album tomorrow.
 
Look,.. um,..... I'm a really cool guy and um.... I got some really good dope connections an, uh ... hey! I roll a really mean joint man,.. can I come? you know, I'll do whatever you guys need. I really do roll a killer joint.....
 
Well, it wouldn't be a rock band without controversy. I'd like to take this opportunity to announce that I'm leaving unbeatably gorgeous and will be releasing a solo album tomorrow.

Oh great! How can we have a band with only one bass player.

Groupies (of both sexes) and drug procurers are more than welcome. Hopefully the movie rights will be secured soon.
 
I'm in but only if I can be the guy who replaces the guy who gets his head cut off in a tragic car accident on a wet rainy road. Of course we won't tell the fans I'm a replacement, but we can leave clues on all our albums. You guys start working on those now. I'll sit here by the phone, watching the weather channel.

number nine

number nine

number nine ....
 
I'm the perfect sex drum machine for that, I have the groove and the style. Nevermind my old band The Shitstains... Hey Cowboy, wanna join in on third bass?

Yeah , damn shit ! Book that flight !
I got drums from my daughter , bass by a friend .
Oh shit , my Tele is in the fucking pawnshop .
But that`s no problem guy , I got the money !
Let`s do it !

I'll manage the groupies and give them a quality control before before the band can enjoy them. You guys deserves only the best groupies available!
Hey Bukfan !
You are the right MAN for managed the Groupies !
You got my vote , haha
 
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My apologies but due to an unfortunate acident, I have slipped off a 3 foot high 40X40 wooden stage (didn;t know it had an edge) and now need 8 weeks to dry ou...er recuperate
 
Cowboy, no way your daughter stays at home. I mean, she's called Lil' Lizzy and she ain't fat. Unbeatable Gorgeous will show her how becoming a cop is wrong and the lifestyle of disco metal rock 'n' roll is right.

Meanwhile Dr. Franklin Stoned is working hard on the resurrection of Cliff Burton to join us on bass. A minute ago he told me on the phone he's finished the golden skin varnish and is implanting the volume and distortion knobs where Cliff's nipples used to be now.
 
You'll just have to do without, brother. Rock your disco metal on yer own. The imminent release of The Souls of my Ex-Wives Fellate Me in My Sleep will justify my exodus.

Imminent release is probably the best choice of words possible. Ever.

Just sayin'.

Good luck with the band. But does Rock Band allow for that many instruments at once?
 
Cliff is ready for action. Franklin Stoned threw the rotten brain out of his skull (except for the parts responsible for speaking and creativity) and replaced it by a special subwoofer. You should have heard him saying "Man, after all these years in the grave I can't wait to play Reek and Destroy with you guys." He is a bass by speaking alone, but if the bass cable is plugged into his neck, the roaring noise from his mouth totally blows everything away. Once again excellent work, Dr. Franklin Stoned, I owe you something.

Lolita, would you mind taking extra care of the drummer?
 
You are a vegetarian, Ambreen?
Yes ! Since nearly seven years.

Look at these dirty men and their dirty thoughts ! Don't expect to have any sandwiches from me, you wicked boys !

Bukfan, you're right, I don't have such an extensive conception of the groupie. I refuse to be that kind of groupie.
Lolita... good luck ! :D

I'll be your moral compass, dudes ! No sex, no drug, only rock'n'roll, understood ? Hahaha ! That role definitely fits me the best. :D
 
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wow ambreen - a straight, teetotaler vegetarian prude...i'll look you up next time i have insomnia!
 
Ambreen, I think these could use a Teetotalin Groupy...
no sex, no drugs just Rock n Roll.:D

Actually they can play pretty good. we might have some competition guys.
 
Bukfan, you're right, I don't have such an extensive conception of the groupie. I refuse to be that kind of groupie.
Lolita... good luck !

As chronic says, Ambreen, that's the only kinds of groupies there is. Never mock something before you have tried it. Who knows, you might like it ;)
Here's a link to a famous book by a groupie called Pamela Des Barres. The title is, "I'm With The Band - confessions of a groupie". You can read some of the pages inside the book! Perhaps that will give you an idea of what it's all about:

http://www.amazon.com/Im-Band-Confe...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1250627982&sr=1-1
 
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yeah, that's lascivious. Would be fitting to hear after the noise (and the first shocking lines), then this: There's no escaping the truth, Ambreen: Groupies have sex with the band. Prepare for the orgy.
 

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