my submissions, if you still want 'em.
"show me a man who lives alone and has a prpetually dirty kitchen, and 5 times out of 9 I'll show you an exceptional man."
--Charles Bukowski, June 27, 1967 over 19th bottle of beer.
"show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and 8 times out of 9 I'll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualitieis."
--Charles Bukowski, June 27, 1967 over 20th bottle of beer.
Those two would have to go on the shirt together. Or there's this one from the last line of The Captain Is Out To Lunch...:
"Screw you buddy...I don't like Tolstoy either!"
probably the best exit line to any book I ever seen.