i'm married. (1 Viewer)

[place holder]

my wife wont let me get wasted or drink too much,
i can have 2-3 beers.. but then she gets evil on me,
it's not feeling great to be without alcohol, (also someone else telling me what to do and not do.)
maybe i'm an alcoholic,
i don't want to put my drinking above her,
i always drank when she first met me,
now that we are married - she says i have to stay sober r she'll leave me.
i love her, so i cut way back on drinking,
but i miss the endless drinking days,
the hangovers,
the kissing of the sunshine in the morning that burns your eyes to a watery river.

- the wife.

 

[Ponder]

Is your wife shopping at the moment?

 

[place holder]

working, a very good woman,
just my habits or vices are controlling,
i miss them some.

 

[Ambreen]

it's not feeling great to be without alcohol, (also someone else telling me what to do and not do.)

But you men DO need to be told what to do or not to do, you're like big children

i love her, so i cut way back on drinking,

You're a good husband :)

but i miss the endless drinking days,
the hangovers,
the kissing of the sunshine in the morning that burns your eyes to a watery river.

It's an unsignificant sacrifice compared to the so great luck you have to be married to that wonderful woman

- the wife.

...is a creature to be cherished, respected and...obeyed

I hope that she's also preventing you from smoking, tobacco is such a plague ! I'm experiencing it again since two days : The publisher by which I'm doing an internship smokes (his grand-pa's pipe) like a chimney. I'm almost ill. Though he's not my husband, I will have a little talk with him tomorrow :mad:

 

[chronic]

But you men DO need to be told what to do or not to do, you're like big children

Fuck that

- the wife.

...is a creature to be cherished, respected and...obeyed

...and fuck that!

If you're not just joking and really believe this shit, you are going to have some miserable relationships to look forward to.

 

[Ambreen]

...is a creature to be cherished, respected and...obeyed

It is ironic.

But you men DO need to be told what to do or not to do, you're like big children

It is not ironic. Just accept the truth

Oh, I've already gone through a miserable relationship last year. He was physically 27 but mentally 5. The worst of all is that I'm still missing him. Nevertheless, I have no illusions about the so called charming prince anymore

 

[hank solo]

They really have smilies for every situation don't they.


Marriage is like anything else worth anything. You have to work at it. Give and take blah blah blah I'm boring myself. But it's true. Give a little, take a little.

What vices does your wife have?

 

[marina del rey]

They really have smilies for every situation don't they.

Yeah, apparently. But I really wish they didn't. They kind of get obnoxious after a certain point.

 

[Billville]

Just cheat on her, place holder. The drinking won't be so much of a concern then. (see, it's all relative)

 

[number6horse]

Nice, Billville !

 

[Gerard K H Love]

My wife is hot. So we never have any problems. I worship the ground she walks on for 29 years being married to her. I am very lucky and I tend to drink too much, when I drink, but she makes my life so meaningful that I don't need to drink that much.

It's a lot of work, but it is worth it. Even when I'm sober.


Yes, I exaggerate, so what....;)

 

[HumanVultures]

Just cheat on her, place holder. The drinking won't be so much of a concern then. (see, it's all relative)

Unless you cheat while drunk :eek:

You would probably miss your wife more than the sauce. At least where you are now, you can have both.

 

[slimedog]

Stick with the drinking Place Holder, women come and go-the bottle will always be there.

 

[strangegirl]

I am guessing Place Holder it's probably more that she is genuinely worried about you and is looking out for your health. I know maybe a fine line. It's something you two have to work out for your relationship. But if you love her then it's worth it don't yeah think. It can be scary watching someone you love lose control, and I am not saying that is your case at all.
But I have a very good friend who's in a similar situation, her husband likes to have his beers. And that's cool. But she confides in me that she worries about what it will do as he gets older, health wise, and she doesn't want to loose him.
I guess we just wonder when it's too much.

And just from a females perspective, it is in my humblest of opinions, about mutual respect and at the very least trying to understand the lines that you two have in place. And those lines can be adjusted at any time.
I am not a wife, yet... But I absolutely don't want a relationship in which one or the other has to OBEY, I mean that is really fucked up if you think that way and unfortunately probably deserve a good kick in the pants.
Mutual respect and understanding.. I know cliche'.. but it is true.

 

[HumanVultures]

You know...
we all work too much.
From nine to five.
Then we go home
to work on each other
when alone
we work
on
ourselves.

Vicious circle of work. Sometimes it's about changing the way we look at it all. You know the old saying. Half the work in sustaining love is keeping it fun.

 

[roni]

[...] someone else telling me what to do and not do [...]

well spoken!

 

[Ambreen]

i always drank when she first met me

Yes, but going out with an alcoholic is not the same as living nights and days with an alcoholic !

As Strangegirl put it, your wife is acting in that way for your sake ; she loves you, so she wants to spare your health. Just have in mind how Bukowski accepted to change his bad habits and give up his vices when Linda Lee entered his life and how that was salutary to him ;)

 

[Bukfan]

but i miss ... the hangovers,

Miss the hangovers? Jezuz, you're a serious case...:D

 

[Gerard K H Love]

my wife wont let me get wasted or drink too much,
...........................................snip....
i love her, so i cut way back on drinking,
but i miss the endless drinking days,
the hangovers,

Drink fresh squeezed lemonade.;)

 

[CRBSMILE]

Bukowski and Linda #2 did ALOT of drinking together. And she was no slouch! Don't forget THAT for one second! They liked drinking together. Good, Bad, or Otherwise. People like to drink. It IS what many people do. For right or wrong; for bitching about it before, during or after; for someone passing out on the floor, punched in the face, sitting in a jail cell, or going to AA... ...
Couples drink together,(and do alot of other questionable shit as well), the couple are the two(2) that decide what is what.
I don't believe in controlling other people, even if I don't like what they do. It's none of my fucking business. I've been married for 21 years. CRB:)

 

[Gerard K H Love]

My wife and I like to pick on each other about the way we drive. Or the way I fill her glass up to the rim or make it too strong. Or the way she obsesses about how perfect the kitchen has to be. It's a great thing that we were friends first. I didn't even try to kiss her until the third date and didn't do much more than kiss then either. God, I love that girl. I can't wait until she gets home from work and when she gets home I'll act like I care more about the dogs or the cat. Just to bug her, but she knows better.
The whole time I didn't have a job she made sure I cleaned and cooked and mowed the lawn or whatever needed to be done around the house. Man, I'm getting to be like poptop or something.

I need to go clean up the kitchen before she gets home from work.

 

[mjp]

Man, I'm getting to be like poptop or something.

No, you'd need to type a few thousand long, impenetrable, sanctimonious peace and love (and drug) casualty paragraphs (with a clear, underlying, unfocused and unacknowledged rage at the world) to be in danger of that.




Kind of like homeless mind.

 

[Ambreen]

she made sure I cleaned and cooked and mowed the lawn or whatever needed to be done around the house. Man, I'm getting to be like poptop or something.

And did she behave like Bukowski Senior when a blade of grass was taller than the others ?

 

[CRBSMILE]

GKHL, forgive me.

Ambreen, are you fucking nuts? Did you even read this man's post? Why would you compare what he wrote,(a loving homage to his wife, and his respect towards her), to Bukowski being beaten with a razor-strop by his Old-Man?
Wait, aren't you the one who, to put it basic, said Men need to be controlled by women? You were out of line here IMO, you should pay more attention to what is being said.:)CRB

 

[justine]

in my opinion and experience, when you're making a longterm or life-long commitment to someone, all this stuff should be talked about fairly early on in your relationship. for example: jordan warned me that he is a complete slob, before i even moved over here. knowing that, and telling him i accept him the way he is, means that i have no right to nag him for not doing stuff. if i want the bathroom cleaned, i clean it. if i wasn't okay with this, we would have talked about it and come to some sort of compromise, but as it stands i'm happy (i use the term 'happy' pretty loosely here - i hate cleaning, but i have less tolerance for a messy house than jordan) with this arrangement. jordan contributes more in financial terms to our household and always will, so it makes sense that i contribute more in terms of maintaining the house. so it balances out.

when you get seriously involved with someone there will be things like this - and even bigger - that you HAVE to sort out if you want be happy with each other. it's great to want you partner to improve and be a better person - but that has to be a shared goal, like if there's something they want to be better at, like managing their drinking/anger/anxiety then you should support them in working towards that. but you can't enter a relationship with the expectation of that person's potential. you're doomed for failure if this is the case.

/end of dr phil spiel

 

[Gerard K H Love]

Ambreen, are you fucking nuts?

Easy now,CRB, I think she was kidding. Besides I might enjoy the strop.;)
But I do thank you for kicking some ass just in case. Remind me not to piss you off.

 

[ESO9]

Yes, but going out with an alcoholic is not the same as living nights and days with an alcoholic !

Damn right. I have been on both sides of this situation, and finally learned a little balance and moderation is the key. Just because one drinks shouldn't be an issue unless that person is out of control.

Best of luck... Even though luck has nothing to do with it.

 

[Ninjerk]

Easy now,CRB, I think she was kidding. Besides I might enjoy the strop.;)
But I do thank you for kicking some ass just in case. Remind me not to piss you off.

She must have been tongue-in-cheek for the whole thread, then.

 

[Ambreen]

Ambreen, are you fucking nuts? Did you even read this man's post?

It was yet obvious ; my post wasn't serious.
I've also read the now closed Maiden thread...
Come on, Post Toxic IS a man so he never got pregnant, as well as I didn't kill little Ampjreen in so far as she never existed. All these bullshits are the results of our respective insane imaginations. Hey, we're on a forum, all the things written here are not to be literally understood. Either you're a very gullible person, or you are not familiar with that thing in which Hank excelled : derision

Wait, aren't you the one who, to put it basic, said Men need to be controlled by women? You were out of line here IMO, you should pay more attention to what is being said.:)CRB

You've not read me carefully : Not only controlled. But also beaten, tortured, castrated and even killed if these assholes don't obey us and dare acting freely. You should pay more attention to what is being said

...

Relax, I'm just teasing your poor nerves like Mr Bennet does with Mrs Bennet in Pride & Prejudice. You definitely made my day !

 

[hank solo]

Steady now; any one of these guys is likely to show up soon and puke on your floor.

 

[hoochmonkey9]

Steady now; any one of these guys is likely to show up soon and puke on your floor.

are you taking applications? I have references. but you have to supply the booze and maybe light some candles. that would be nice.

 

[CRBSMILE]

I work around assholes 50+ hours a week. I'm always happy to make their day. Your location: Right next door to Hell. Why don't you go ahead,open the door and walk on through. Don't forget to take Jane Austin with you.:)

 

[chronic]

I work around assholes 50+ hours a week.

You're a proctologist?

 

[CRBSMILE]

Close enough. Not quite as much money in it though.:)

 

[Ambreen]

Your location: Right next door to Hell. Why don't you go ahead,open the door and walk on through.

I wanted to do so ! Axl and I knocked together at Hell's door. But they only took Axl and told me I wasn't evil enough for Hell now

Not only you allow yourself to call immediately people "fucking nuts" without standing back, but you even take the liberty of telling them to "pay more attention to what is being said", what you don't do yourself (which leads you to misinterpret people's posts). I find that kind of reactions quite arrogant. Instead of calling you "fucking nuts" back (which would have been ridiculous), I preferred to tease you by confusing your mind more than it had been by my previous post. But you still overreacted.
You lack humour and derision. I give up.

Jane Austin

For your information, the writer's name is Jane Austen. Nothing to do with the city in Texas !

 

[the only good poet]

Close enough. Not quite as much money in it though.:)

if that's an understatement, you're a careworker...

i've not seen this image before. love it. it's a still, right...

 

[Socratease]

^ Makes Buk look almost handsome.

If it's a still captured from Born Into This, then I missed that shot.

 

[ESO9]

Isn't that shot in Shakespeare Never Did This?

 

[adrian]

What's with all the boozing? I can't be bothered with it too much these days

 

[hoochmonkey9]

true that, brother.
send all of your booze to me. I will dispose of it properly.
may peace be with you.
and with you.