THIS IS NOT A TEST

PhillyDave

“The essential doesn't change.” Beckett
Over 1000 posts
Trying to describe my job, also, TMZ and celebrity tabloid trash culture

I'm going to talk about my job for a minute, just because, but we'll also talk about landlords, moving, the Mars rover, rejuvenating a 13 year old website, repetition and tedium, baby seals, crafting a lovely box, Cinderella, feeling ridiculous, magical thinking, talking goats, unicorns, the NATIONAL ENQUIRER, TMZ, rat kings, big-gulps, incubators, Paisley Park, dignity, paparazzi, Howard Stern and Stuttering John, being thrown out of a club for being too drunk, Entertainment Tonight, hyperbaric chambers, podiatrists, poison toads, the de-elevator, cockfighting, synapses and Japanese fish. Among other things.
Vicarious kicks, shaman acupuncturist, hating elevators, not clubbing seals, jobs with titles, sometimes it's just sand in your teeth.
 

mjp

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Shaman accupressurist. Big difference!

I think?

I had to go look that up to make sure I said "sand in your teeth," because that's pretty good. I'll have to use it somewhere else. Ha.

I really can't remember what I said last week, let alone in May. It's kind of surprising to see some of the words all this time later.
 

PhillyDave

“The essential doesn't change.” Beckett
Over 1000 posts
Yeah, yet now that i think about it, I'd like to go to a shaman accupressurist and a shaman accupuncturist. Why not? Wait... what's the difference? You know the difference?
 
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After seeing Springsteen, I listened to the "clean socks and a passport" episode again. I would buy that book,
so finish that shit!
 
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mjp

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Well that's one sale I can count on. Thanks. I guess I have to finish it now.

But then when it's published and I become famous I'll be really busy on the international party circuit and I won't have any time for you commoners, so you might miss me. Yeah, that's what'll happen. Well, sorry. It's out of my hands. ;)
 

mjp

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I expect the signing tour to be global, first class travel and accommodations underwritten by the Koch brothers and The Bilderberg Group. No need to come to Pasadena.
 

PhillyDave

“The essential doesn't change.” Beckett
Over 1000 posts
I wish I knew how to be happy about a three day weekend

Here we go with the three day weekend, vacation, the near-impossibility of relaxation, Richard Nixon, gadgets, machines and thing-a-ma-bobs, fainting couches, VARIDESK, regular desks, making things disappear, harboring a grudge, robots, brain surgeons and grocery baggers, lanyards, key cards, backstage passes, Royal Crown Cola, spaghetti, the Clash, broom closets, elaborate props, the Rolling Stones, Donald Trump, George Orwell, El Nino, body oil, incense and environmental records. Check.
The desk is the thing man. It's the lynchpin of the plan...the desk is the center of the universe. A long loop of fabric. FOOD spreads; get your mind out of the gutter. A fully grown type of person. Flying the crazy flag. Does anyone remember laughter?

Seriously, you met the Clash? A few times? So, let me wrap my head around that. So you've seen them live AND met them. The only person I wish I'd ever met, Joe Strummer. Huh. Well, there are maybe a few others but I've got issues as they say.
 

mjp

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you met the Clash?
Yeah, it was easy to get to them. I think I talked about it in that episode, or in some other one. Anyone could casually saunter backstage after the show. You kind of had to know they did that, and most people didn't know, so it was never a mob scene or anything. They kept it low key, because they were The Clash after all.

And in St. Paul there was only one hotel bands stayed at, so it was easy to find them there too. You know, if you had a lot of time on your hands. Thing is though, I wasn't trying to meet Joe outside of the hotel that day. I didn't ambush bands at the hotel anymore, I had outgrown that. But I just happened to be walking past the hotel when their van pulled up, so what the hell. It's wasn't an everyday opportunity, so I figured I should take it.

I can't think of a musician I'd cross the street to talk to now though.
 

PhillyDave

“The essential doesn't change.” Beckett
Over 1000 posts
Happiness is a warm gun

You have to wonder about things like guns, and June Gloom, the LGBLT community, preaching love, calling things "the worst in U.S. history," Wounded Knee, your high school history book, wars, genocide, subjugation, cupcakes, immigrants and queers, throwing rocks at politicians, gun control, unemployment checks, Kickstarter, the emperor's new clothes, swimming upstream, fluffing up your eggs, the NRA, Jesus Christ himself, your fellow citizens, Mexican hats, rumpus rooms, 7-11, Wyatt Earp, Vivienne Westwood boots, cops, taking care of each other and Phil Hendrie.
Crocodile tears & unemployment checks, a very open minded baby, "Why you swimmin' upstream, bro?", safe'n this place up man, crazy brush, and taking calls or not.
 

PhillyDave

“The essential doesn't change.” Beckett
Over 1000 posts
A hot night with Bunny Wailer

Bunny Wailer: Blackheart man, soul rebel, ruler of dancehall, legend. Plus Garbage - the band, not the stuff out behind your house - pink hair, people looking old before their time, Madonna, orthopedic shoes and K-Mart t-shirts, The Wailers, avoiding night flights, Madison Square Garden, electronic reggae, that rapper that Prince used, the Electric Slide, obscure Japanese dub stores, David Bowie, Prince, Jehovah, leaves turning brown, trillions of photographs, tidal waves, Instagram, Bob Dylan and King Crimson, the Hollywood Bowl, cheese, listening to music outdoors, velodromes, Hillary Clinton's nomination acceptance speech and the Great Wall of Trump.
Very cool...again. The crapshoot that is our cultural consciousness. Dude, you have the Hollywood Bowl and shit! Pic-a-nic baskets. Don't know what a velodrome is? Tear down that wall.
 

PhillyDave

“The essential doesn't change.” Beckett
Over 1000 posts
Charles Bukowski: the ultimate outsider? Maybe not. THIS IS NOT A TEST #55

Bukowski, Bukowski, Bukowski! And let us not forget civil servant weirdos, resisting the draft, spending all day in a bar, paying child support, living on a park bench, having a different kind of brain, fear of public speaking, skin magazines, TMZ, art generated by companies, critical mass, shaking your bush, the foolhardy and ultimately fruitless attempt to make Bukowski palatable to a wider audience, holiday shopping, Bob Marley, bombing churches, a Peter Tosh museum in Jamaica, Prince's purple jacket, mausoleums, Jell-O, rust and Batman.

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Thanks again mjp. Your ear vacation, tung twisters, outsiders don't listen to podcasts, a tidal wave of new books, and mince meat of you precious time.

Great pic. I think most of us here like it. I do, a lot. Now, our man Hank, if I may so bold as to refer to him as such, seems alone, high on beer and very content to just be. But that ain't no selfie, is it? Do we know who took that infamous photograph? Buk may have been lonely but he sure as hell was not alone.
 

mjp

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My DNA can beat up your DNA (depending on the phase of the moon)

http://thisisnotatest.com/my-dna-can-beat-up-your-dna-depending-on-the-phase-of-the-moon/

Thrill to the description of my DNA test results, and stay on the edge of your seat as I also provide grandiose oratory on Bob Dylan's Nobel prize, Leonard Cohen, Tony Orlando, Casper the friendly ghost, tar and feathers, lefse and lutefisk, astrology, whimsy, turpitude, sushi, Eve, culture wars, old white men, ISIS or ISIL or JIMINY DING DONG or whatever it's called, women in the kitchen, David Copperfield, Criss Angel, Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, Merrill Lynch, our Ethiopian ancestors and A Boy Named Sue.


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hoochmonkey9

Art should be its own hammer.
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HOW DARE YOU MAKE FUN OF LEONARD COHEN!!!

I am sending back my Captain MJP decoder ring and my membership card and will no longer be listening to your radio program on the wireless. Also, I will be drafting a strongly worded letter to be sent to your sponsors. We'll see what General Mills and Packard has to say about this.
 

mjp

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HOW DARE YOU MAKE FUN OF LEONARD COHEN!!!
Come now sir, you and I both know there's nothing fun about Leonard Cohen.

As for your threat of written protestations, I should let you know that my auntie owns several dozen shares of General Mills stock, and the Topeka Packard dealer is a member of the Elks Lodge that daddy belongs to, so good luck with your wretched campaign of hatred and betrayal.
 

Bukfan

"The law is wrong; I am right"
Over 5000 posts
I especially loved the part about the so called culture wars and the part about song lyrics being literature/poetry or not was interesting too.
 
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Skygazer

And in the end...
Over 500 posts
Does it really matter for the lines to be blurred between what is a song/poem/literature? There are some poems I've heard set to music and it's horrible and the opposite for song lyrics.But that's not absolute, I love all of these; Abel Meeropol's Strange Fruit - sung by Billie Holiday. John Cooper Clarke's I Wanna Be Yours - by the Arctic Monkeys. Joy Division's New Dawn Fades - is fantastic heard or read.
 

mjp

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Does it really matter for the lines to be blurred between what is a song/poem/literature?
I don't know. Does anything matter? Whatever, right?

Your personal reality is all that matters! "Facts" are just someone else's opinion. If the last four or five elections in this country have taught me anything, it's that there are no facts anymore. So if you think song lyrics are literature or barn doors or curry paste, I can't argue with you. You're right.

John Cooper Clarke's I Wanna Be Yours - by the Arctic Monkeys [...] is fantastic [...] read
If you like your coffee hot
Let me be your coffee pot

Uh, yeah, let me get on the phone and alert Nobel and Pulitzer to that one. It should win both.
 

Skygazer

And in the end...
Over 500 posts
I don't know. Does anything matter? Whatever, right?
Yes plenty... but not that. whether the words written are intended to be read, spoken or sung isn't the big thing for me, just an opinion.
If the last four or five elections in this country have taught me anything, it's that there are no facts anymore.
A fact perhaps that as far as Polling Days go, it isn't safe to go into the water, the bar has been lowered by SideShow Trump to a new low. But that's just opinion too.

That poem by Clarke was a humerous one and performed as such, no attempts at prizes. But interesting that he was signed to a record label more than a publishing house - or not interesting.
 

PhillyDave

“The essential doesn't change.” Beckett
Over 1000 posts
My DNA can beat up your DNA (depending on the phase of the moon)
Loved it again: me, me, me. croaking toads. for spice, ya dig. I'm undefinable bitch. tweets & twats. meanwhile back in reality. commence the hashing. it's all gravy baby.
 
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mjp

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The death of the truth

http://thisisnotatest.com/the-death-of-the-truth/

You didn't think I'd let this presidential election pass without saying something, did you? Well, actually, I had hoped to, but the whole thing didn't exactly turn out the way a lot of us had hoped or expected, so here we are. As you may have noticed, the truth took a beating in the campaign and election. The way I see it, it took the death of the truth for Trump to triumph (try saying that five times fast), so that's what we're talking about today: how the death of the truth happens, and how those who wanted it dead carried out the murder. It's just like the NPR podcast "Serial," only it's a lot shorter and only my opinion rather than a lot of meticulous research and reporting. Otherwise it's just like it.


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PhillyDave

“The essential doesn't change.” Beckett
Over 1000 posts
Haven't listened to this particular podcast yet but from the picture are you saying truth is a damsel in distress chained to the train tracks?
 

mjp

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Essential Bukowski - and a few non-essentials just for the hell of it

http://thisisnotatest.com/essential-bukowski-along-with-a-few-non-essentials-just-for-the-hell-of-it/

It's Bukowski time again, sort of, and along the way we may or may not touch on hair again, hopping on pop, nuclear winter, Ronald Reagan, "Baby, it's cold outside," Christmas songs, Cap'n Crunch, slapping broads around, male privilege, Rudy Vallee, amplified ants, Vietnam, the looming Trump era as a glass-half-full kind of thing, how you suck at doing Christmas, Rupert Murdoch, Abel Debritto, tarring and feathering, reruns of Seinfeld, breaking people who don't want to talk, in praise of killing some trees, diseased pilgrims, Google cardboard and all virtual reality, ViewMaster, chirpwatch and pie and coffee.


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PhillyDave

“The essential doesn't change.” Beckett
Over 1000 posts
I like pie & coffee and yes I went for pie and coffee recently, by myself late at night! Apple & ice cream. Oh, right. The pod cast. Awesome again. Thanks.

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