THIS IS NOT A TEST

mjp

The stone that the builder refused
Moderator
Founding member
Over 5000 posts
What could possibly go wrong?

https://thisisnotatest.com/what-could-possibly-go-wrong/

This one may sound a little weird because it's the first episode recorded in the new studio (a.k.a. the spare bedroom of the house we just moved in to). Try to ignore the echo and instead just revel in the hilarity of bronchitis, 768 Kbps Internet, rain on cardboard boxes, hustlers and con artists, Sylvester Stallone and Ariana Grande, landlines, landlords, lunatics, putting an 'i' or an 'e' in front of every name or service in the 90s, Pringles, silence, power outages, gorillas, roller coasters and getting fired from your job.


 

zobraks

Moderator
Over 1000 posts
I hate moving (even more than losing a job) and you got me squirming there with your story, but this part is so funny:

Feel free to laugh at my misfortune, because we’re friends, and, hey, I’d laugh too. If we can’t take joy in someone slipping on a banana peel – which is about the only thing that didn’t happen in the last few weeks – then what are we? What have we become? Animals?

I also admire your spirit for this:
If you can’t laugh in the face of never ending problems, you’re in trouble.
Well said.

This is a great episode of This Is Not A Test (all good writing comes from misfortune, no?).

I hope you'll find a new job soon. Or win the lottery.
 

Johannes

Founding member
Over 1000 posts
“That Michael, he’s mostly gorilla.”

- Landlord in 2018 :D

Jesus, what a tour de force. Sorry to hear about the job loss. All the best, man!
 
Last edited:

Black Swan

Abord the Yorikke!
Over 1000 posts
Here are the 3 most stressful situations for anyone: losing a loved one, losing your job and moving. You got 2 out of 3! Good luck on finding a good new job!
I must admit that I laughed more than once, listening to your misfortune.
 

mjp

The stone that the builder refused
Moderator
Founding member
Over 5000 posts
I think some people still send out those QSL cards.

In all of the post-apocalyptic movies, it's always the ham radio nerds that are the last communication left on earth. So they will bury us all.
 

PhillyDave

“The essential doesn't change.” Beckett
Over 1000 posts
Aw man. That sucks about your job. Damn. Good luck. Good luck? Is that the same as thoughts & prayers? Anywho... mega-bits & k's & gigga-bits, charm offensives & hugs, whig flippin', nails in coffins, and accelerated timelines.... and yes, I am still picking up what you are throwing down.
 

Hosh

hoshomccreesh.com
Over 1000 posts
And on top of all that shit, we lose our beloved ChirpWatch®™© as well?! Ugh -- it's all a big kick in the plums.

I hope everything is coming up MJP sooner rather than later.
 

mjp

The stone that the builder refused
Moderator
Founding member
Over 5000 posts
Yes, they had a smoke alarm or some kind of alarm that needed a new battery, so it would chirp every 15 seconds. They just ignored that. Then once a day the alarm would go off, and they'd reset it and keep listening to the the chirp. Every 15 seconds. Then after a while there were two alarms doing it. We could hear a loud chirp and a more faint chirp from the other side of the house.

That went on for a couple of years. And is probably still going on now and for all time.
 

roni

Over 5000 posts
This whole thing is plain embarrassing.
How can they do this to you? (or to anyone for the matter of equality and justice) !

Well, okay, yes - that was a rethorical question.
And people at a Bukowski-forum are the last to wonder about bad human behaviour anyway.
Still ....
 

mjp

The stone that the builder refused
Moderator
Founding member
Over 5000 posts
How to hypnotize a lizard

https://thisisnotatest.com/how-to-hypnotize-a-lizard/

In which and wherein I proceed to speak on subjects as confounding and diverse as particles, time, unemployment, maximizing one's potential, training chickens, meaning and purpose, milk trucks, the pervasive mystery of Atlassian Confluence, rhythm, mojo, management philosophies, buying and selling, Joe Strummer, Lake Woebegone and the End of the Road in Homer Alaska, Craigslist, fear and loathing in the grocery store, yard sales, Ronald Reagan, Mikhail Gorbachev, the dark apocalypse, seven-and-a-half billion handbags, and Hootie and the Blowfish.


 

mjp

The stone that the builder refused
Moderator
Founding member
Over 5000 posts
Let us rave today, about things that are raveworthy

https://thisisnotatest.com/let-us-rave-today-about-things-that-are-raveworthy/

Here, how about some Jade Bird, some signs of life, some Bob Dylan, some...country music? No. Some Shakespeare, Jimmy Fallon, Arrow de Wilde, cesspools, how art and culture are really life itself, Stephen Hines' "the late season" book, undercurrents and undercutting, Jackson Pollock, Prince, 5 Hour Energy Drink, Western society, Victorian days, Leaving Las Vegas, Oxycodone and Fentanyl lollipops, the devil and the lord, Joe Strummer, male groupies, reminiscing, and sky cars.


 

PhillyDave

“The essential doesn't change.” Beckett
Over 1000 posts
I must have enjoyed this episode because I listened yesterday, then listened to something else this morning and let it loop back to TINAT and left it on. I've listened to it 1 & 3/4ths times. Lucky me.

Prince was a slob? I knew it.
 

mjp

The stone that the builder refused
Moderator
Founding member
Over 5000 posts
Love is at the root of our resistance

https://thisisnotatest.com/love-is-at-the-root-of-our-resistance/

What the hell, let's take a chainsaw to royalty, the desert, aliens with oversized heads, crazy glue, usenet, Airstream trailers, diplomas, fat and lazy cover bands, crushing and demoralizing your enemy, pig flesh, pigskin, loving it or leaving it, Amnesty International, smokescreens and the rise of the machines. We'll talk about 14 of those 15 things, see if you can guess which ones.


 

mjp

The stone that the builder refused
Moderator
Founding member
Over 5000 posts
Interview with artist and writer Carol Es

https://thisisnotatest.com/interview-with-artist-and-writer-carol-es/

Tune in to our interview with artist and author Carol Es and hear what she has to say about her recently completed memoir, "Shrapnel in the San Fernando Valley," and turn on to a strongbox full of gold, Yahweh Ben Yahweh, the Kardashians, hyphens and en dashes, the evils of Scientology, bad luck and stupid mistakes, survival, triumph and getting the first slice of the pie.


 

mjp

The stone that the builder refused
Moderator
Founding member
Over 5000 posts
I was glad too.

Though it seems like "out" is the only direction anyone is going as far as Scientology is concerned these days.
 

mjp

The stone that the builder refused
Moderator
Founding member
Over 5000 posts
Festering Pools Of Indignation And Blurry Righteousness

https://thisisnotatest.com/festering-pools-of-indignation-and-blurry-righteousness/

Okay, this one is all over the place, but that has its own charm, doesn't it? I mean, don't you want to talk about dogs, crushing heat, megastorms, science (and the ignorance thereof), Gwyneth Paltrow, Jesus, geniuses, the home schooled, Lil Wayne, AA meetings, limp escapism, rock stars, resistance, complacency, Sam Kinnison, Roseanne, Woody Allen, Ariana Grande and GG Allin, marching, Anubis, Siddhartha, John Updike, James Baldwin, Frank Herbert, printing presses and Walmart? Sure you do.


 
Top