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Erik

If u don't know the poetry u don't know Bukowski
Founding member
Over 1000 posts
This awesome toilet paper use calculator says we have enough on hand to last for 71 days.

I don't hold out a lot of hope that the hysteria will have subsided in 71 days, but maybe the people who hoard toilet paper will run out of storage space by then. Or die from something other than the dreaded Coronavirus.

I'm not thrilled with the empty produce section at the store. We need our bananas, grapefruit, avocados, radishes and lettuce you know, and I look forward to enjoying them again someday. But the empty shelves on every other aisle have made it easier to imagine what it was like living in the Soviet Union in the 1970s. So there's that.

There's always online boutique toilet paper, if you're in need of some $3 a roll buttwipe.

To clarify: we don't have 71 days worth of toilet paper because we waited in line at 5 a.m. to get it. Last time I bought toilet paper was in January. I just buy a lot at one time. It's the beauty of Amazon (where most toilet paper is also sold out) delivering things to your front door. "Here's your two giant boxes of toilet paper Mr. Phillips. You're not weird at all. Have a nice day!"
Have you considered selling on the black market? You could make a bundle...
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...let-rolls-as-coronavirus-panic-buying-spreads

Seriously though, I've got a 93-year old mother and am grateful for the precautions being taken. This virus is 3 times as contagious as the flu and flu shots don't help.

They say after a while only the milder versions of the virus will survive. killing your host is a bad tactic for survival. Just ask Greta Thunberg.
 

roni

Billions served
There are easy ways to survive without toilet paper if you have a waterhose coming out of the wall. Like I had during my stay in a tiny shack on a tiny island in Thailand 2006:

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They say after a while only the milder versions of the virus will survive. killing your host is a bad tactic for survival.
While the latter is obviously correct, the first part, which is the conclusion, is (equally obviously) wrong. There are such things as lethal (infectious) deseases, right? The logic of evolution, not to kill the system that enables you to live, has not impeded the existence of Malaria, Ebola, Cholera or Trump.
 

Black Swan

Abord the Yorikke!
Over 1000 posts
well, I tried my best to cheer up the neighbourhood.
Social distancing is good for a while. The best instruments to play are the accordion, the saw and the bagpipe.
I played my accordion from my balcony and two dogs started barking, then a cyclist waved at me and two neighbours applauded.
my cat hid under the bed.
I hope that everyone is okay!
 

mjp

Your Host
Moderator
Founding member
Billions served
Iggy Pop Removes Torso Section From Hazmat Suit

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MIAMI — Proto-punk legend Iggy Pop removed the torso section from his hazmat suit yesterday, designed to protect the aging rocker from contracting COVID-19, concerned medical staff confirmed.

"I want to give back to my community and lift the spirits of all those suffering from this horrible disease," the Rock 'n' Roll Hall-of-Famer explained. "My manager said the only way they'd let me perform at a hospital is if I wear this hazmat suit. But how the hell would anyone know it's really me? I cut out the torso section so they'd know the man singing 'I Wanna Be Your Dog' into their coughy, fever-filled faces was the real fucking deal."

Pop's management tried to convince him to stay home, but he refused.

"What are we supposed to do? This guy has done every drug on the planet like, 500 times and nothing stopped him. He's not afraid of the virus at all," said Iggy's manager, Henry Howard. "You think the guy who kept teasing the idea of killing himself onstage cares about a global pandemic? I mean, we've told him many times it's not a good idea, considering he's in the high-risk age range, and he just keeps bringing up all the different times he should have died in the 70s."

Security footage showed the 72-year-old walking out of the hospital in his hazmat suit, rolling a tank of nitrous oxide behind him.

"In a weird way, I'm glad he left, because he was just roaming the halls — singing, popping into rooms and squeezing IV bags, cutting up his chest with medical tools… and somehow he walked his way into the pharmacy before disappearing for a few hours," said Dr. Donovan Proctor. "We were already against the whole idea in the first place, and now we have somebody who has been directly exposed to the virus just waltzing out there in the world. But I gotta admit, it was pretty cool when he launched into 'Search and Destroy.'"

In related news, doctors scrambling to develop a coronavirus vaccine tried convincing Keith Richards to donate blood to see if whatever is keeping him alive was the cure.
 

zobraks

Moderator
Over 1000 posts
I'm using the quarantine time to check the HUGE backlog of R. Crumb, Yves Chaland and other artists' stuff.

Besides taking long walks around the house, playing with my (five!) cats, reading Simon Louvish's Stan and Ollie and riding a bicycle on the top of my garage.
 
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