It still reads very young and unformed to me. Even in its cleaned up state. It's full of clichés, clumsy writing and there's no payoff to any of the poems. He gets to the end and stops and you just think, "Oh. Okay. Guess that's the end of that one."
You can get away with a little cliché and a little clumsiness if the lines have rhythm. But I don't feel any rhythm in his "poemstories™."
If we're holding him up to the same standards that we would hold any poet (as we should), he wasn't at all ready for a book like this, and this kind of attention. I don't think he ever will be, but what do I know.