MJP... (1 Viewer)

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I am almost done writing my novel. I think you are the first person I want to read it. It's a true story about me moving from Chicago to Florida to Vegas all in order to work with other musicians in my attempt to continue my band. It's pretty insane too, I think you'll love it! I'd like to also ask you to help me get it published or release it with your company. short, limited edition run is good.

either way, are you down to help out? guide me? If you don't want to publish it, then I just won't publish it... ha. but seriously, I think you will like it a lot. I'm gonna try to make it into a movie as well. I originally wrote it with the idea of having Steve Zacharias direct and produce it, which will probably happen. I wrote a fictional screen play and he re wrote it and changed a lot of things. So, this time around I told myself to write the whole novel so he couldn't really change it too much. ha.

j
 
Josh, I would love to read your novel, and I'm so flattered that you would give me the legally binding first right of refusal. I don't know who this Steve guy is, but I have a standing production deal with John Depp's production company, and I see him playing you in the feature. 20, 30 million budget - not a big thing.

Here's what I want you to do: have the novel manuscript professionally offset printed, 22 copies. Don't Xerox it - Depp is weird about Xeroxing. He thinks the pages are radioactive. Once you have it printed, go to a crating company and have the manuscripts crated. That's important, because a cardboard box offers no protection for your work. Once you get the manuscripts crated, overnight the crate to:

MJP PRODUCTIONS​
C/O MR. JOHN DEPP​
1844 HOLLYWOOD BLVD.​
HOLLYWOOD, CA 90001​

Oh, in the crate also include a basket of muffins and 20 kilos of cocaine. You know, for John.
 
Oh!
Until now, I wasn't aware, that this is a fake profile.
What do you mean? this isn't a fake profile this is really the dude known as Josh Rock. If you meant fake profile as in getting my novel published was the only reason I come here, you are sooo very wrong. If it happens it happens, if not, oh well ill still come here and talk. Bukowski is part of my religion. I had to really think long and hard about asking MJP for any help. I didn't want to compromise any friendship we might have started. It took a lot of courage for me to even pop that question. I've been toggling back and forth for about 2 months to get the courage to ask him to at least read it. I'm just flattered that he would.

How come you're so sure?
cause my life is insane and it was one hell of a ride. I was homeless for a few days in it as well but still managed to party!

Josh, I would love to read your novel, and I'm so flattered that you would give me the legally binding first right of refusal. I don't know who this Steve guy is, but I have a standing production deal with John Depp's production company...
thanks so much! Steve wrote Revenge of the Nerds and Happy Days etc. just google him. hes a real good dude!
 
I only have a few pages more to go because I need to end the story. the ending is decent, all real life things that actually happened. I will let you all just read it for free or something, just to get your feedback. ill just email it to you! So, who else in here writes semi serious? or has some really interesting or funny stories? I would like to read some of you're work if it is online. does anyone run a small online blog where we can share some stories?
 
Is Josh Rock real? Awwww.......mmmm......huh? Oh yeah, real. I wonder. Awwww......mmmm......*

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He studied bass guitar with Nick Schneider from Buddy Rich's band and used to manage Fall Out Boy. A real person who is _____________ whatever.
 
I think he's real and either really trying to screw with people or really naive. Who says "Bukowski is my religion"? That's something my students say about Justin Beiber. And if your a real Buk fan you'd know how he felt about people asking him to read their crap and wouldn't dare ask. But then that's a lot of effort to spend on a fake profile. . .I don't know whether to feel irritation or pity.
 
He studied bass guitar with Nick Schneider from Buddy Rich's band and used to manage Fall Out Boy. A real person who is _____________ whatever.
trust me there's more. there's way much more than that but this isn't about me. I just had some questions about Buk's work and figured maybe I could actually have a civilized conversation on a message board about someones artistic endeavors those being Buk's but I'm starting to realize it may not be worth it. here we go again with the snobery and shit talk... Yes Josh Rock is a real person, sorry I wasn't narcissistic enough to come up with a wikipedia and all that nonsense that would help explain it all a bit better. in due time. I actually hate being known for anything... fame is not a cool thing. so can we get back to talking about Buk?
I think he's real and either really trying to screw with people or really naive. Who says "Bukowski is my religion"? That's something my students say about Justin Beiber. And if your a real Buk fan you'd know how he felt about people asking him to read their crap and wouldn't dare ask. But then that's a lot of effort to spend on a fake profile. . .I don't know whether to feel irritation or pity.
I am somewhat naive. I just got into Buk a few years ago. I thought this was the place to come and talk about specific works and what we thought and share whatever? apparently I was wrong and you guys must be bored of talking about Buk on a Charles Bukowski forum.

and as far as asking MJP to read my stuff. I am sorry I ever asked. I don't need anyones help with my writing or getting anything published. I didn't come here to talk about my book. It'll all be out there in good time. Fuck maybe I won't want to publish it. Everytime you put yourself out there or talk about whatever you open yourself up for criticism. I already had my own following on people that read my writings or listen to the songs I write. I didn't come to buk.net to discuss Josh Rock issues, or sell my work. I'm not desperate for attention or fans. trust me, I have plenty already that give me enough trouble. I came here to talk about Buk's writings. fuck I'm sorry I ever even came on here with my real fucking name. I should have just made up a Mike Smith or something.

and yes I did study bass with one of Buddy Rich's many bassists. His name was Nick Schneider. quit looking at my fucking myspace!
 
I don't know. who cares what anyone else wants. I might just keep it all to myself. print up maybe 100 copies for friends, put it on the net for free. we'll see. hey MJP how are all your 14 fans doing these days? and the books sales? come on big shot tell us how many you actually sold. ill double that, in the first week alone!
 
I am somewhat naive. I just got into Buk a few years ago. I thought this was the place to come and talk about specific works and what we thought and share whatever? apparently I was wrong and you guys must be bored of talking about Buk on a Charles Bukowski forum.

Whoa. Look. I've been following this thread and it has been completely civilized. The Buk fans on this forum are astounding and welcoming and honest. I've only been here a week or so. Not to offend, but I have no idea who you are and it seems if you are famous or whatever the last think you'd do would want people to know about it if you are here to get some wicked education in All Things Bukowski because then it seems like a distraction from what we are here to do that we, or at least many of us, don't get to do in our nonline lives, which is finding people who've spent years reading Buk's work, his interviews, essays and books about him,etc and who are deeply passionate about the old man. I think that's why people had a hard time figuring you out, and you may be laughing at this right now, but how can you call an author your religion but not know him or his work? I mean, can you explain why you say this? What the novel/poetry collection/essays were that got you hooked? What did you get out of his work?

What the hell, if he's trolling, egg on my face. If not, I'm curious.

And NO ONE here gets bored talking about Buk.

I don't know. who cares what anyone else wants. I might just keep it all to myself. print up maybe 100 copies for friends, put it on the net for free. we'll see. hey MJP how are all your 14 fans doing these days? and the books sales? come on big shot tell us how many you actually sold. ill double that, in the first week alone!

Dude, are you talking about your book sales? He is for real and I bought one of his books today, in fact. I wanted more but they were sold out. mjp is someone whom you respected enough to ask him to read but now are going to surpass his success? This guy is a real, published, respected writer and to put him down when you came to him for help..You've got to know that if some posts on a forum (albeit the greatest forum in the world), such as this are going to be tough and honest; how can you expect anyone to believe you've actually got a book written and the balls to stand behind it? Buk is the most important writer of the last century and will be known as such in this century. There will never be anyone who will give us that kind of writing again. And he was rejected 1000s and 1000s of times before he ever got an inkling of recognition. He was middle-aged then and an old man before he could count on success and respect as a writer. So, if you are real, and this is your first time writing, it seems a wee arrogant to think you've got a book mjp will love and will outsell him, doesn't it?
 
rolling my damn eyes at all this.

dude, you can't come to a website that is dedicated to a single author, spend very little time establishing any credibility or friendships, and start threads about your new novel. i mean, starting a whole thread dedicated to asking someone to read your book just comes off as really... self-indulgent. if you had spent any amount of time reading this forum, you would know that; plenty of people have come in here and done the same thing as you and been treated exactly the same. in fact, you've been treated much more kindly than most, believe me.
 
In regards to Bukowski being my religion. that was somewhat meant as a joke but at the same time its somewhat true. Buk has taken over my life completely. you want me to list the books that made me come to this conclusion? Read Post Office twice now. Women reading the second time. Ham on Rye once (didn't like this one as much because he gets picked on and the shit kicked out of him by his dad but yea, still great book) Factotum once. I own the movies Factotum, Born into This. and of course Barfly. read most of his autobiograghy, the one that all you probably read, sorry its upstairs cant think of who wrote it. read most of Hot Water Music. Read all of South of No North and loved it! read all of the most beautiful woman in town and loved it. and most of the other short stories except im half way through Notes of a Dirty Old man. but you see then I started discovery his poetry and now I can't even get to anything else cause his poetry is so fucking amazing!!! now own and read 50 pages of Day Run Away... Read all of Love is a Dog... and LOVE IT! I love Burning in Water Downing in Flame... and my favorite that I am still in the middle of is Mockingbird Wish Me Luck. sometimes, I only like to read a few poems a day because its so good I don't want to read through it all and be done with it yet. I want to leave something left to the imagination, know that its still fresh and new to me. so yea, in the last two years Buk has become my religion, that and Hockey, and Punk Rock... But shit, most of you have probably already read most of what I have, so its still exciting for me to be where I am at. I won't stop until I own every piece of work he ever wrote. I can read all his books for free on my colleges database but I rather buy them all and be able to hold them in my hand, plus he is that good and that entertaining and sometimes he reminds me a bit of myself.

as for the comment about asking MJP to read my stuff. It took a lot of courage to even ask him for that and he was an ass in how he treated me so, I don't care who else has been hear and what they have said. I am a different person then all those wanna be writers. I have been known for 13 years now in music anyhow and I just thought he treated me kinda shitty. After all I have been honestly trying to be the guys friend ever since I came here. not for personal gain. I'd be honored if he just read my book and said good luck! or no I'm too busy or whatever but he had to answer me like he was an opera snob.

and you asked how do I know my book is so good? well I've got this contract with another writer who won an Emmy... and everyone loves my songs and other stories... so. shit the kids on the Fall Out Boy message board used to get pissed at me when I didn't post or share my stories.

the thing is, I am a forgiving Punk Rock God haha. I forgive MJP and would still be his friend... shit maybe if he was nice I'd help him with his stuff.

I'm a recluse, its hard for me to talk about my works... its hard for me to talk to anyone. I've had my share of attention and its pretty scary, its too much at times. I had a stalker once even too. but anyways, when I am provoked or belittled is the only time I will actually put someone in their place and let them know yea, you're so and so okay that's cool you don't need to be a dick about it but I'm Josh Rock, only one of the most famous rock stars on planet earth. I won't hesitate to put someone in their place, hell even Pete Wentz hasn't been free from my wrath over the years.

So, yea if you wanna talk shit to me it just gets me going. if you don't and you want to be friendly, I can also be the nicest guy too. either way, back to BUK!

I hope all of you are having a wonderful day! and to settle things. When I am done with the novel you can all read it for free, ill fucking email it to you. but never in a million years do I want anyone thinking that is why I came to this place. I really could care less if any of you read my stuff. I probably prefer that you don't cause when it comes down to it, I don't care. There's other people that will promote that shit for me and I hate talking about it or bringing it up. I rather here all about what you all are up to...

anyhow, i've said enough! just be nice and I will too!

your friend,
joshua
 
Whatever happened to the Joshua Oukrust that I fell in love with last summer? The one who was so tender and fully shaved. I remember once when I was fucking you in the Popeye's Fried Chicken parking lot, you even cried. I thought that was so adorable. Now look at you. You're riding a high horse with your ultra fame and worldwide notoriety. Where is the sweet boy who used to wash my balls and iron my shirts? I miss him. I don't know who this monster is who has taken his place.
 
I am a different person then all those wanna be writers. I have been known for 13 years now in music anyhow and I just thought he treated me kinda shitty.

see, this reads like "i should be treated better because i am SO WELL KNOWN in the music industry". that seems pretty snobby to me. you're a better person because you're supposedly a big shot in the music business??

I'm Josh Rock, only one of the most famous rock stars on planet earth

sorry, but i have honestly never heard of you. i'd be surprised if anyone here as ever heard of you. maybe you're a big name in your 'scene' but that doesn't equate to being one of the most famous rock stars on the planet.

When I am done with the novel you can all read it for free, ill fucking email it to you. but never in a million years do I want anyone thinking that is why I came to this place. I really could care less if any of you read my stuff. I probably prefer that you don't cause when it comes down to it, I don't care. There's other people that will promote that shit for me and I hate talking about it or bringing it up.

you just keep contradicting yourself: you say you don't want any attention, but instead of privately asking mjp to read your novel, you post a public thread about it. AND you offer everyone a chance to read it. BUT then you say that you'd prefer people DIDN'T read it...

i don't know you. i don't know what kind of person you really are. but the IMPRESSION you are giving a lot of people here is that you're pretty self-congratulatory, not genuinely interested in anything except self-promotion, and kind of immature.
 
I'm pretty sure Josh Rock is Joaquin Phoenix, off on another one of his 2 year long "art projects" that no one really cares about in the end. except Joaquin Rock. or Josh Phoenix. or Phoenix Josh Roaquin.
 
Whatever happened to the Joshua Oukrust that I fell in love with last summer? The one who was so tender and fully shaved. I remember once when I was fucking you in the Popeye's Fried Chicken parking lot, you even cried. I thought that was so adorable. .
Oh, mjp, you simply must stop this merciless attack on the intellectual prowess and writing talents of poor Josh Rock. While it is true that for a time I supported, and yes, even contributed to the battle, I now see that it was all a waste as there can be no battle when only one side has the ammunition. Let's just try to be unbiased and wait for the email of Josh's novel, which should show up around the same time Fed Ex ships us those WMDs we ordered so long ago.

Also, if you don't stop making me laugh so hard I'm going to choke on my Popeye's.

I'm pretty sure Josh Rock is Joaquin Phoenix, off on another one of his 2 year long "art projects" that no one really cares about in the end. except Joaquin Rock. or Josh Phoenix. or Phoenix Josh Roaquin.
Nix my last post. Somehow I overlooked it. hoochmonkey9, you have solved the mystery (I honestly have spent a bit of time trying to figure it all out). So much better to know the truth.

Except for now I'm the one who has egg on my face. Oh well. Good job, Joaquin! It was a pleasure to meet you! I loved you in "Parenthood"!
 
I'm pretty sure Josh Rock is Joaquin Phoenix...

And I'm pretty sure the 100 "friends" that'll be reading the novel are Tonto, Jimmy Olsen, Huckleberry Finn, Booger Dawson, Tinky Winky, Oliver Twist, Kukla and Ollie, Space Ghost, Droopy Poodle, Potsie Webber, Puck, Cheshire Cat and The Mad Hatter, Roy Batty, Nemo, Strawberry Shortcake, Smurfette, The Cisco Kid, Punch and Judy, Elmer Fudd, Tintin, Batman, Betty Boop, Rainbow Brite, Linus and Peppermint Patty, Polly Purebred, Hansel and Gretel, Mushmouth, Jar Jar Binks, Dennis the Menace, Red Sonja, Little Lulu, Ignatz Mouse, Humbert Humbert, Sleeping Beauty, Tarzan, James Bond, Grape Ape, Jonny Quest and Hadji, Snidely Whiplash, Cat in the Hat, Frito Bandito, Freddy Krueger, Popeye, Aquaman, Norman Bates, Stan Marsh, Cookie Monster, Frosty the Snowman, Pixie and Dixie, Count Chocula, Frodo, Booboo, Norm and Cliff, Donald Duck, Frankenstein, The Yellow Kid, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Mannix, Sherlock Holmes, Jeff Spicoli, Clutch Cargo, Don Corleone, Josie and one of the Pussycats, Yertle the Turtle, Dagwood Bumstead, Casper the Friendly Ghost, Sam Spade, Chingachgook, Jinks, Goldilocks, Flash Gordon, Fu Manchu, Howdy Doody, three Oompa Loompas, the Cowardly Lion, Snagglepuss, Gilligan, Wednesday Addams, Buckwheat, The Shadow, Glenn Quagmire, Zeus, Waldo, Basketball Jones, Robinson Crusoe, Scooby Doo, Melvin the Monster, Deputy Dawg and Funky Winkerbean.
 
I really could care less if any of you read my stuff. I probably prefer that you don't cause when it comes down to it, I don't care. There's other people that will promote that shit for me and I hate talking about it or bringing it up.

Ah, so there's other people than us that will promote the shit? That's great, because I don't really think anybody here is interested in promoting it, but thanks for thinking we would.
 
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