What are your favourite beers?
I've bummed around from country to country a lot, so I've slugged a lot of the stuff.
First the hall of shame:
English beer (ie, bitter, some ales) tastes mostly like stagnant piss from a brothel latrine.
There are some great Porters, though, and some of the IPAs are ok.
Most brand American beer is the same. Coors, Budweiser all that stuff. How can people drink that dying child's piss? It's immoral, unethical! ;) The worst beer I've tasted on the planet. There are a lot of great micro-breweries though. One that I always used to get stuck in was in Ojai, CA.
Ireland: I like Irish Red, but you can't buy it in Ireland for some reason. I've only ever seen it exported to Russia, Eastern Europe and the US. Guinness tastes like the filthy water that the shroud of Turin was washed in.
In my experience most of the best beer you'll find in Europe:
Poland: Okocim, Lech and Zywiec
Bavaria/Germany: Hirsch, Zoetler, Franziskaner. Plus all the dunkles, bocks, dopplelbocks, etc. There're hundreds if not thousands to choose from; every small town has more breweries than churches.
Belgium (or course): Westmalle (dubbel, tripel), Chimay, etc. Again hundreds to choose from. This is dangerous stuff, often up to 10% vol. Drink it down, then go eat a rabbit in white wine sauce.
Holland: Palm. Tastes nice while smoking a joint and window-shopping the whores. Like being in an alternate Beverly Hills, but with humanity.
Even Russia: I like the Baltika series (10 or 16 in the series I think). You buy beer from little trucks and stalls on the street where you also pick up your copies of the latest movies or software for 5bucks. And it's a nice break from the voditchka.
There's some Czech stuff I had but I don't remember the name of it. China, too. Drank it, no idea what it was - the chinese font/name of the beer looked like a black intestine. And that's what I had the day after I drank it. There is some great beer over there, though.
Ok, I think that's about it. But having said all that, I should admit that I will pretty much drink anything that is put before me. It's rude not to take alms, right?
---------------------------------------------
I don't know how many bottles of beer
I have consumed while waiting for things
to get better.
I dont know how much wine and whisky
and beer
mostly beer
I have consumed after
splits with women--
waiting for the phone to ring
waiting for the sound of footsteps,
and the phone never rings
until much later
and the footsteps never arrive
until much later.
when my stomach is coming up
out of my mouth
they arrive as fresh as spring flowers:
"what the hell have you done to yourself?
it will be 3 days before you can fuck me!"
the female is durable
she lives seven and one half years longer
than the male, and she drinks very little beer
because she knows its bad for the
figure.
while we are going mad
they are out
dancing and laughing
with horney cowboys.
well, there's beer
sacks and sacks of empty beer bottles
and when you pick one up
the bottle falls through the wet bottom
of the paper sack
rolling
clanking
spilling gray wet ash
and stale beer,
or the sacks fall over at 4 a.m.
in the morning
making the only sound in your life.
beer
rivers and seas of beer
beer beer beer
the radio singing love songs
as the phone remains silent
and the walls stand
straight up and down
and beer is all there is.
I've bummed around from country to country a lot, so I've slugged a lot of the stuff.
First the hall of shame:
English beer (ie, bitter, some ales) tastes mostly like stagnant piss from a brothel latrine.
There are some great Porters, though, and some of the IPAs are ok.
Most brand American beer is the same. Coors, Budweiser all that stuff. How can people drink that dying child's piss? It's immoral, unethical! ;) The worst beer I've tasted on the planet. There are a lot of great micro-breweries though. One that I always used to get stuck in was in Ojai, CA.
Ireland: I like Irish Red, but you can't buy it in Ireland for some reason. I've only ever seen it exported to Russia, Eastern Europe and the US. Guinness tastes like the filthy water that the shroud of Turin was washed in.
In my experience most of the best beer you'll find in Europe:
Poland: Okocim, Lech and Zywiec
Bavaria/Germany: Hirsch, Zoetler, Franziskaner. Plus all the dunkles, bocks, dopplelbocks, etc. There're hundreds if not thousands to choose from; every small town has more breweries than churches.
Belgium (or course): Westmalle (dubbel, tripel), Chimay, etc. Again hundreds to choose from. This is dangerous stuff, often up to 10% vol. Drink it down, then go eat a rabbit in white wine sauce.
Holland: Palm. Tastes nice while smoking a joint and window-shopping the whores. Like being in an alternate Beverly Hills, but with humanity.
Even Russia: I like the Baltika series (10 or 16 in the series I think). You buy beer from little trucks and stalls on the street where you also pick up your copies of the latest movies or software for 5bucks. And it's a nice break from the voditchka.
There's some Czech stuff I had but I don't remember the name of it. China, too. Drank it, no idea what it was - the chinese font/name of the beer looked like a black intestine. And that's what I had the day after I drank it. There is some great beer over there, though.
Ok, I think that's about it. But having said all that, I should admit that I will pretty much drink anything that is put before me. It's rude not to take alms, right?
---------------------------------------------
I don't know how many bottles of beer
I have consumed while waiting for things
to get better.
I dont know how much wine and whisky
and beer
mostly beer
I have consumed after
splits with women--
waiting for the phone to ring
waiting for the sound of footsteps,
and the phone never rings
until much later
and the footsteps never arrive
until much later.
when my stomach is coming up
out of my mouth
they arrive as fresh as spring flowers:
"what the hell have you done to yourself?
it will be 3 days before you can fuck me!"
the female is durable
she lives seven and one half years longer
than the male, and she drinks very little beer
because she knows its bad for the
figure.
while we are going mad
they are out
dancing and laughing
with horney cowboys.
well, there's beer
sacks and sacks of empty beer bottles
and when you pick one up
the bottle falls through the wet bottom
of the paper sack
rolling
clanking
spilling gray wet ash
and stale beer,
or the sacks fall over at 4 a.m.
in the morning
making the only sound in your life.
beer
rivers and seas of beer
beer beer beer
the radio singing love songs
as the phone remains silent
and the walls stand
straight up and down
and beer is all there is.
