F. A. Nettelbeck: unloved and unphased (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter bospress.net
- Start date
GOD you girls are something else. AND you read Bukowski? FUCK IT "shes left me shes left me...." JUST LIKE THE DAWN MY HEART IS SILENTLY BREAKING
chronic
old and in the way
A translation to English from the original Needledickian:
I am very unhappy with you fellows and so am calling you "little girls" in order to express my frustration and disdain for you.
Dear God in heaven, I merely came here to try to dispose of some of my worthless magazines and try to earn some money at the same time. I think I am really very funny and clever but you fellows don't seem to see that.
When I was 17 and living in Los Angeles (before I wasted the rest of my life) I enjoyed reading Bukowski.
My friends (oh dear god how I miss having friends) and I would interupt our thrice daily circle-jerk to call him at the phone number he had used as a title for one of his poems and he would actually answer and say amusing (and pithy) things such as "Yeah baby, where's your bitch?" and such. My teenaged friends and I would just giggle like little schoolgirls out of sheer delight, I tell you.
But as Jack Micheline, a moderately well-known poet whose name I drop at every opportunity, once told me, "Bukowski needs love." I responded "What?" and out of pure teenaged angstiness continued, "Love is for fools and it will kill you." It's still not clear, even to me, exactly what I meant by that. Just my lack of maturity talking I suppose.
Jack was an overly optimistic hippie.
All I've done with my life since the good old days when I was seventeen years old has been to write three poems.
So, young gentlemen, my message to you is this: do not waste your life as I have. Work hard and make something of yourselves. I like that you are a spirited bunch but I still view you as inferior to me, the great poet who has written three poems.
And to you who have made fun of my name, you should know that the pinnacle of my life was when I managed to beg Bukowski to let me publish something with his name on it, gosh darn you.
By the way, my penis is very small and I have never been able to get my mouth around it. Can any of you? Please send pictures, gosh darn you all.
I am very unhappy with you fellows and so am calling you "little girls" in order to express my frustration and disdain for you.
Dear God in heaven, I merely came here to try to dispose of some of my worthless magazines and try to earn some money at the same time. I think I am really very funny and clever but you fellows don't seem to see that.
When I was 17 and living in Los Angeles (before I wasted the rest of my life) I enjoyed reading Bukowski.
My friends (oh dear god how I miss having friends) and I would interupt our thrice daily circle-jerk to call him at the phone number he had used as a title for one of his poems and he would actually answer and say amusing (and pithy) things such as "Yeah baby, where's your bitch?" and such. My teenaged friends and I would just giggle like little schoolgirls out of sheer delight, I tell you.
But as Jack Micheline, a moderately well-known poet whose name I drop at every opportunity, once told me, "Bukowski needs love." I responded "What?" and out of pure teenaged angstiness continued, "Love is for fools and it will kill you." It's still not clear, even to me, exactly what I meant by that. Just my lack of maturity talking I suppose.
Jack was an overly optimistic hippie.
All I've done with my life since the good old days when I was seventeen years old has been to write three poems.
So, young gentlemen, my message to you is this: do not waste your life as I have. Work hard and make something of yourselves. I like that you are a spirited bunch but I still view you as inferior to me, the great poet who has written three poems.
And to you who have made fun of my name, you should know that the pinnacle of my life was when I managed to beg Bukowski to let me publish something with his name on it, gosh darn you.
By the way, my penis is very small and I have never been able to get my mouth around it. Can any of you? Please send pictures, gosh darn you all.
She even woke me up
bospress.net
www.bospress.net
chronic is on FIRE.
And FUCK YOU ALL.
Bill
p.s. bitches....
And FUCK YOU ALL.
Bill
p.s. bitches....
bospress.net
www.bospress.net
JESUS, i could never stay mad at you all.
Like my old friend JACK MICHELINE used to tell me "The rain in Spain falls mainly in Cleveland and don't do outside with your HARD-ON"
Bill
Like my old friend JACK MICHELINE used to tell me "The rain in Spain falls mainly in Cleveland and don't do outside with your HARD-ON"
Bill
dear Mr. Hasselldickenhoff,
I know I was only one and three quarters when you gave Bill Burroughs that back rub at the Manhole Bar in Greenwich Village, and that you shit more knowledge about poetry than I'll ever know, but I was wondering: who's the better kisser, Ginsberg or McKuen?
c'mon, don't be shy. you can kiss and tell, you're among friends here.
I know I was only one and three quarters when you gave Bill Burroughs that back rub at the Manhole Bar in Greenwich Village, and that you shit more knowledge about poetry than I'll ever know, but I was wondering: who's the better kisser, Ginsberg or McKuen?
c'mon, don't be shy. you can kiss and tell, you're among friends here.
mjp
Founding member
Frank idolized McKuen, but when he showed up at McKuen's door the police were called and Frank spent the night in jail. One night was enough to turn him though, and he's never forgiven (or figured out just how to thank) McKuen.
Incidentally, I have it on good authority that chronic will be publishing a chapbook consisting of translations of Frank's three poem cycle life's work sometime in 2012. Introduction by Raindog and Frank's friend Jimmy, the head trauma accident victim who lives down the hall in Frank's section 8 apartment building.
Incidentally, I have it on good authority that chronic will be publishing a chapbook consisting of translations of Frank's three poem cycle life's work sometime in 2012. Introduction by Raindog and Frank's friend Jimmy, the head trauma accident victim who lives down the hall in Frank's section 8 apartment building.
Gerard K H Love
Appreciate your friends
So, do I understand this correctly? His name is actually frank, as in dick, A. Needledick. Oh my, how weird is that, his name is Frank A. Needledick and he hates fine writing. What a fucking looser and a half.
Wow that was Fuckin funny as Fuckin Hell.
I almost Shit my pants reading this Fucking thread.
Thanks FA Nickledick for sharing with me the finer points of the English Fuckin Language.
You know I'm gone for a Fucking Week and I miss all the fuckin fun.
I almost Shit my pants reading this Fucking thread.
Thanks FA Nickledick for sharing with me the finer points of the English Fuckin Language.
You know I'm gone for a Fucking Week and I miss all the fuckin fun.
I doubt it was his intention, but by summing up all words FA Nipplesweat put in capital letters, he gave us a weird poem:
PRISTINE THROB
WAY ABE SUMMER
HA
IS AM AND LATER
NOW THAT IS FUCKING FUNNY
JESUS SELL NO LA
HIM BUT WHAT
FUCK ALL ALL AND THEE POEMS
WHOLE AND PS PUNKS FUCK YOU
AND OF COURSE
NO FUCK YOU GOD
AH LA
NOW ACTUALLY WRITE
ACTUALLY WRITE
ACTUALLY WRITE
ACTUALLY GOODBYE BABY
GOODBYE HOMEBOY
GOODBYE BABY
GOD AND FUCK IT
JUST LIKE THE DAWN MY HEART IS SILENTLY BREAKING
PRISTINE THROB
WAY ABE SUMMER
HA
IS AM AND LATER
NOW THAT IS FUCKING FUNNY
JESUS SELL NO LA
HIM BUT WHAT
FUCK ALL ALL AND THEE POEMS
WHOLE AND PS PUNKS FUCK YOU
AND OF COURSE
NO FUCK YOU GOD
AH LA
NOW ACTUALLY WRITE
ACTUALLY WRITE
ACTUALLY WRITE
ACTUALLY GOODBYE BABY
GOODBYE HOMEBOY
GOODBYE BABY
GOD AND FUCK IT
JUST LIKE THE DAWN MY HEART IS SILENTLY BREAKING
mjp
Founding member
And the other three aren't as good.
---
Someone pointed out this awesome picture to me, so I thought I would post it so everyone could see who they are corresponding with.
Yes, that is esteemed author (of three poems, apparently) and newly minted net.kook F.A. Nettlebeck. I cropped a rather bedraggled looking woman and unfortunate little girl from the picture, because when FrankenBeck releases the hostages* I don't think they'll want to remember their time with him.
Nice sticker on the back of his truck...
Is that two cartoon children with devil horns, one taking the other doggie style? Classy!
40 in my hand
40 at my feet
case of forties in the truck
sweet sweet sweet !
- F.A. Nettlebeck, 2009
---
*Please note: the "hostages" comment is merely a personal impression and an awkward attempt at "humor," and should not be implied or interpreted as a statement of fact or news report from a reliable source. Yet.
---
Someone pointed out this awesome picture to me, so I thought I would post it so everyone could see who they are corresponding with.
Yes, that is esteemed author (of three poems, apparently) and newly minted net.kook F.A. Nettlebeck. I cropped a rather bedraggled looking woman and unfortunate little girl from the picture, because when FrankenBeck releases the hostages* I don't think they'll want to remember their time with him.
Nice sticker on the back of his truck...
Is that two cartoon children with devil horns, one taking the other doggie style? Classy!
40 in my hand
40 at my feet
case of forties in the truck
sweet sweet sweet !
- F.A. Nettlebeck, 2009
---
*Please note: the "hostages" comment is merely a personal impression and an awkward attempt at "humor," and should not be implied or interpreted as a statement of fact or news report from a reliable source. Yet.
LickTheStar
Sad Flower in the Sand
Thank you for splitting the thread. Not ALL my posts need to devolve into madness. But I can't say I'd be sad if they did.
Gerard K H Love
Appreciate your friends
Fuckin' A!
Now we should make friends with F A N.
Now we should make friends with F A N.
Hello,
Hey I know that guy. I'm the one who took that photo, this one:
I can see by reading this thread that Frank is being sort of a troll, but I can tell you he is a nice guy in real life and has written more than three poems. He has been living the life you read about in Buk's work, and writing poems for decades. After I met him at the Sprague River Flea Market (which he owns) he kindly sent me a large package of poems and little magazines, many of which he published.
Check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F._A._Nettelbeck
Sprague River Flea Market: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ex_magician/sets/72157611932262005/
Hey I know that guy. I'm the one who took that photo, this one:
I can see by reading this thread that Frank is being sort of a troll, but I can tell you he is a nice guy in real life and has written more than three poems. He has been living the life you read about in Buk's work, and writing poems for decades. After I met him at the Sprague River Flea Market (which he owns) he kindly sent me a large package of poems and little magazines, many of which he published.
Check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F._A._Nettelbeck
Sprague River Flea Market: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ex_magician/sets/72157611932262005/
mjp
Founding member
No, he's being a lunatic and an asshole. He's not being a troll at all (I honestly don't think he's clever enough), he's just being himself.
Obviously when you met him and took that picture he was at least a couple 40's into his day. Maybe that's we he needs to take the edge of his everyday rage.
The question is: who gives a shit?
Well, it's all "real life" but internet life does differ a bit from day to day life and face to face encounters, wouldn't you agree? f\For example - on a forum like this people can assume any name they want to and, often, will express themselves in a way that they might not if they were sitting across a table from one another - the posts in this forum would be a good example.
Although Frank is like this all the time. He owns the flea market in Sprague River and liked to hang out there and drink beer all day. Sprague River is in one of the most conservative, backwoods parts of Oregon and he has had a big "Impeach Bush" sign up for years. He says people drive by and holler at him all the time and he has even received death threats - but he doesn't care!
So with Frank what you see is what you get. The truth is, in spite of some unpleasantness seen here, he *is* a poet, has been recognized as such, continues to write and be published for the past forty years, and he has a lot more in common with the character Henry Chinaski than most people you will ever meet.
bospress.net
www.bospress.net
So, he *is* a poet. You did not say *great* poet. The fact that he is recognized as a poet means nothing. Anyone can be recognized as a son or daughter, that does not mean that they are a *good* son or daughter. Anyone who slaps paint on their dick and smacks it up against a canvas *is* an artist.
Anyone who writes poems is a poet. Some poets write awful garbage that is unreadable by anyone but themselves. It is not hard to be recognized as a "poet." It is hard to be recognized as a talented poet.
Bill
mjp
Founding member
To say that he's "living the life" or "has a lot in common with the character Henry Chinaski" is really irrelevant. I understand why you keep hitting that point, but I don't think it's going to sway anyone's opinion of him.
The idea that a writer has earned some sort of credibility by being a bum is misguided (and yes, I know that a certain kind of Bukowski fan is largely responsible for propagating that idea). There are millions of hillbilly slobs running flea markets and "living on the margins of society." That doesn't mean anything.
Any idiot can live like a dog. It is interesting and inspiring to read about someone who rises above a life lived like a dog. To me, it's not so interesting to read about someone who doesn't - or can't - transcend whatever slop they are stuck in.
Junkie poetry, drunk poetry - it's boring. You have to have something really special to pull it off, and even then, it cannot usually be pulled off without some distance and perspective. To gain that perspective you have to pull yourself out of the pit.
"He (Nettelbeck) has some good shit out there." -Charles Bukoski, circa 1978.
bospress.net
www.bospress.net
Who is Charles Bukoski? I have heard of Charles Bukowski.
Bill
Bill
the internet can be such a merciless tool ...
Okay guys. I am not convincing you so I'll say one thing before I quit beating a dead horse.
I don't know if he's a great poet. His most widely read poem is Bug Death which I am proud to have one of 500 (?) copies of. The fact is there isn't a big market for poetry in general so not a lot of opportunities to become a great or even a professional poet. And there is even a smaller market for the type of cut up poetry Frank ("a long marginalized 'Meat' poet") writes.
But if you read his wikipedia look at his bibliography and the references section you might see he's not simply some idiot at a flea market living like a dog. Or is he - I don't know?
Who the fuck are you cunt, John Martin? Ah sorry, that should have been B-u-k-o-w-s-k-i, A-s-s-h-o-l-e-s! Here's a couple more for you girls:
"I've met a lot of young poets who are not being published who are as good as any of the Beat writers - Freddie Nettelbeck (is one of them)..." -Jack Micheline, Contemporary Authors interview, July 5, 1985
"Nettelbeck is that rare experimentalist who refuses to lose touch with the common American." -Los Angeles Times
Put that in your Bottle Of Piss.
"I've met a lot of young poets who are not being published who are as good as any of the Beat writers - Freddie Nettelbeck (is one of them)..." -Jack Micheline, Contemporary Authors interview, July 5, 1985
"Nettelbeck is that rare experimentalist who refuses to lose touch with the common American." -Los Angeles Times
Put that in your Bottle Of Piss.
jordan
lothario speedwagon
nettlebeck and i actually have something in common- we both justify being miserable bags of shit by recycling 25-year old snippets from positive press clippings.
"As four-year-olds go, Jordan Hurder is on par with just about anyone in terms of raw talent and sheer verve for his craft." -Clayton Eshleman, NPR interview, 6/2/1985
see that? so fuck everyone ever.
"As four-year-olds go, Jordan Hurder is on par with just about anyone in terms of raw talent and sheer verve for his craft." -Clayton Eshleman, NPR interview, 6/2/1985
see that? so fuck everyone ever.
"F. A. Nettelbeck isn't fucking around. The grounds of his poetry may not be fashionable, easy going, or none too pretty, but neither is the man himself. If you believe you know what living is, best take a look at Nettelbeck's work." -Patrick James Dunagan, Galatea Resurrects #9, March 29, 2008
"...if you can find a copy of his BUG DEATH, buy it and consider it." -Wanda Coleman, Letters to Poets: Conversations About Poetics, Politics, and Community (Saturnalia, Nov. 1, 2008)
"...if you can find a copy of his BUG DEATH, buy it and consider it." -Wanda Coleman, Letters to Poets: Conversations About Poetics, Politics, and Community (Saturnalia, Nov. 1, 2008)
bospress.net
www.bospress.net
You came here. We did not ask for your ass-kissing posts about your buddy, the finest meat poet cut-up artist alive.
Bill
Bill
Gerard K H Love
Appreciate your friends
Hey be careful. They have internet access after the libarry is closed and they are sober enough to type after 6:30 p.m. It must be his kids. Yeah, the best meat head poet.
mjp
Founding member
I win.
Post the entire quote, Johnny Footnote:
"I have never met anyone quite as unpleasantly odiferous and perverted as Nettelbeck. His breath smells like a dead skunk that's been hidden inside a dead donkey's ass for six months. Don't let him corner you anywhere or he will loosen his rope belt, pull down his rag pants and wiggle his deformed, cyst-covered penis at you. I still have nightmares about that and it happened 30 years ago. If you can find a copy of his BUG DEATH, buy it and consider it the perfect height to stick under that table leg that keeps wobbling." - Wanda Coleman, Conversations About Interior Design On A Budget (Alitalia In Flight Magazine, Nov. 1, 2008)
Funny thread :D
Similar threads
- CuriousReader
- All things *not* Bukowski
