What are you drinking?

scribbler

Over 100 posts
In 1984 I found a bag of weed in the university parking lot...not being a pot smoker, I immediately sold it to a hippy friend, took the 15 bucks to the record store and bought Metallica's Kill em All, and Manowar's Sign of the Hammer (the heaviest new metal of the day). Then a quart of Colt 45. I was banging a buzzed head within an hour of my first encounter with "drugs", celebrating my good fortune.
 

Mark73

Over 500 posts
don't forget to toast jesus!
l*o*l !

:d great !

When I was a teenager, I often visited the Cotton in my hometown Marl in Germany. It was/is an old farm where the m.ost a.lienated r.otten l.osers live, mainly punks and art people and mentally deranged cats and dogs.

There used to be a music festival every year featuring local bands, but also one time Culture Shock played, later to change their name into Citizen Fish.

I was around 16 when I was rather deranged myself from too many beers and too much pot on a Cotton party. When another joint was given to me, I didn't mind the funny smell and the strange taste, I was already out of orbit and didn't care. Now being completely fucked up, I decided to walk home.
I must have walked the right streets with a nice blackout because I regained consciousness while I walked, sleepwalking toxhead.
I entered my parents' flat in the middle of the night having two thoughts:"Toilet." / "Sleep."
I locked the bathroom door and passed out. I will never know for how long I rested on the floor until I woke up again. Finally I went to bed.

On the next day, my entire family was in our living room talking about all kind of things like usual on sundays while I was sunbathing on the balcony.
The sky had the most unnatural orange and the leaves a green I have never seen again. I was surrounded by alive colours of a surreal painting because I had smoked heroin the night before.

It is untrue that you're immediately addicted, but the risk is high and the one who gave the heroin joint to me was a dumbass fool.
I never cherished trying out the drug again on purpose.

The son of god saved my life. Since that day, every morning Jesus appears to me like a star wars hologram shining out of my toaster. He demands:
" Don't take any drugs! Except for nicotine, because I am a heavy chainsmoker myself, sheep!"
 

chronic

old and in the way
Over 1000 posts
Post Toxic said:
Since that day, every morning Jesus appears to me like a star wars hologram shining out of my toaster. He demands:
" Don't take any drugs! Except for nicotine, because I am a heavy chainsmoker myself, sheep!"
That is a Star Wars hologram. It was free in that box of Cheerios, remember? You've been communing with Chewbacca.
 

Mark73

Over 500 posts
I always asked myself why Jesus is pointing a crossbow blaster at me. Thank you, chronic. Those hairy dudes all look the same.
 

Mark73

Over 500 posts
After I read this, I went into the kitchen and there he was, shining out of my kitchen sink! My new adorable master, wearing a halo of bottles around his head.
His words are my new law:

" You're gonna die young if you stay sober and what's worse is it's going to be a lonely death. When was the last party you've been invited to? You can't remember. All your friends turn their back on you because you never drink. You're boring. You've been more fun when you were skateboarding with six beers in. The gashes you earned from ollying through the bottle pyramid they built for you made you a man. They made you one of them. Now get your sorry ass to the liqueur store and start a party!"
 

CRBSMILE

Over 500 posts
Okay, it's 12:19, perfect time to crack open that big bottle of Shiraz.CRB:)

p.s. this was the 66,666 post. Am I now destined to do evil things?
 

Mark73

Over 500 posts
You are indeed destined to do evil things now. Here are two evil things to start with:
1. Run flashing down the streets of your neighbourhood yelling " I AM THE ANTICHRIST!"

2. Burn down a catholic church. Hmm... the denomination doesn't matter in your demonization. Just burn down a church.

You'll be inspired ...
 

CRBSMILE

Over 500 posts
Well, I am in Pittsburgh, so the Catholics do dominate. But I'm not really into Crazy European Heavy Metal bands, and I don't feel right about stealing anyone's thunder. On the other hand, the running naked down the street sounds pretty good. Let me finish the shiraz...:)CRB
 

Gerard K H Love

Appreciate your friends
Over 5000 posts
Okay, it's 12:19, perfect time to crack open that big bottle of Shiraz.CRB:)

p.s. this was the 66,666 post. Am I now destined to do evil things?
....and it's your Birthday. You go girl start running down the street. It is still winter, isn't it?

More fresh squeezed lemonade. New lemons from our neighbor who died and his house is vacant. I'll drink a toast to CRBSMILE.:D
 

scribbler

Over 100 posts
Damn, well seems like I've been doing it right all along (pushing towards the 4-a-day...). Rauschenberg quit drinking when he was seventy...for a few years...and then continued on til 82...all the way to the end. And he was a mouse.
 

scribbler

Over 100 posts
Would that be some Gorgoroth or Gnaw Their Tongues tea. Dont ask those old fuddy duddys (maybe I'm one)...their scopes are only diminishing.
 
Last week I went out with work friends, we were all very stressed, we drank cocktails, lots of Sambuca shots, double vodkas at which point my memory fails me.

The next morning I woke up looked in the mirror and had a chipped tooth and a face full of blood. Apparently I had been leaving the pub and fallen three steps down on to my face, smashing one of my front teeth and slicing off the top layer of flesh on my chin.

I think I'm definitely getting too old to do shots, it's time to hand in my notice and stick to drinking vodka. Keep away from the Sambuca folks!
 

CRBSMILE

Over 500 posts
Why is Jagermeister so popular in the USA by the way?
I don't know. It tastes like cough medicine. I have a good friend who swears by it, but when I drink it I end up like Sulkpot. I haven't touched it in 2 years, but I'll be seeing my friend next week and I know she'll try to sucker me into it...I am determined to stay strong! Shots are seldom a good idea anyway. CRB:)
 

Gerard K H Love

Appreciate your friends
Over 5000 posts
I made some more lemonade with which I made the best Margarita-for my wife.
When you squeeze those fresh lemons it makes the whole house smell fresh and clean.

I think the dogs don't like that.
 

slimedog

Over 1000 posts
Why is Jagermeister so popular in the USA by the way?
It gives a bit of a narcotic buzz, in fact there was a rumor that opium was an ingredient, like the government might allow a beverage to contain this. It was a German digestif for a long time before they decided to go outside with it. Their advertising campaign is to sponser bands and events and they never have any traditional advertising. It became popular with rock bands and their fans starting in the early nineties I'm guessing. Goldshlager was introduced at the same time but hasn't been as popular, rumor was the "gold" in it were actual gold shaving (hee, hee).

Does taste like cough syrup but gives an odd buzz like Tequila, It does have a strange effect on some (like Tequila). An interesting fact is that it is brewed for five years, just like Scotch.
 

Bruno Dante

Over 500 posts
I know what Jagermeister is by the way, I just couldn't really fathom why it was so popular in the States. It's not so different from a lot of other herbal digestifs (many of which also taste pretty medicinal) so I wondered why it had done so well over there. I suppose a lot of it is down to luck, timing, good marketing and so on.
By the way: Goldschlager really does have gold leaf in it. I shit you not.
 

Bruno Dante

Over 500 posts
I heard the idea is that minute nicks are made in your throat when you drink it so the alcohol gets to your blood stream quicker. Is anybody in that much of a hurry to get drunk?
Probably just a gimmick anyway.
I prefer its taste to Jagermeister, although it wouldn't be the first thing I'd think of to order if I was drinking 'shorts'.
 

slimedog

Over 1000 posts
That rumor about Goldschlager having tiny bit of gold shavings in it are false along with the one about Jager having deer blood or opium in it. Not true.
 

mjp

Your Host
Moderator
Founding member
Over 5000 posts
Gold leaf can't cut anything anyway. It's about the most fragile thing you can imagine. You can tear a sheet of it by blowing on it. Which is probably why it runs through the digestive tract easily.
 

ROC

It is what it is
Over 1000 posts
The Chinese love gold leaf on their food.
My little boys 2nd birthday brownies had gold leaf all over them.

You're right mjp, it wouldn't cut the wings of a fly.

Jagermeister tastes like deer piss to me (well... how I imagine deer piss to taste).
 

slimedog

Over 1000 posts
Jager does taste like deer piss, I've had both and they are surpisingly similiar.

Had a shot of deer piss just a few minutes ago.

So that gold leaf is true? Whattayano.
 
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